The Love I Never Got to Express....

In this world, among the relationships created for us to be cared for and loved, one very special relationship is that of grandparents. Many people are able to experience this bond deeply, while many others are not. If I talk about myself, I am one of those people who truly experienced this relationship. In my childhood, the love I received the most was from my grandparents at least this is what my mother tells me.

My grandmother was a very kind woman, and I was very close to her. I was only five years old when she passed away, so I do not remember many things clearly. But my mother tells me that I used to stay with her all the time, sleep beside her, and that she took great care of me. At that age, I could not feel the loss very strongly, but as I grew older, I began to feel it deeply. Even today, I feel that her absence is a personal loss for me. I am not someone who feels insecure or jealous seeing others with what I do not have, but this is the only relationship where, when I see others with their grandparents, I feel an extra sense of missing them and wonder why they are not here.

My grandfather was also a very good person. I can say that he had an ideal personality. He lived with us, and my mother and I used to take care of him. I am a less expressive person, and in every relationship I keep a little emotional space perhaps because of my boundaries. But for me, he was an ideal figure. His aura and personality were very charming.
Whenever I tried something new, whether it was food or anything else, I always made him taste it first. Whenever I received my class results, he was the first person I told. In my life, he was the person to whom I shared every piece of news first. Throughout my school life and even college, he was the one who took me everywhere. If I had to go anywhere, I just told him, and he would take me. If I needed anything, I told him, and my need was fulfilled. Even when I was sick, he was the one who took me to the doctor. Since childhood, whenever I was unwell, my grandparents were more worried about me than even my parents.
For me, all of this was normal. It was my routine. I never imagined that I would ever have to live my life without them. I never thought that a time would come when they would not be a part of my life.
But no one stays in this world forever. In June 2023, my grandfather also passed away. When I heard the news, I could not process it at all. It felt unbelievable. I kept thinking, how could this happen? Is it really possible that life will now continue without him? For me, this news was impossible to accept, but reality forces us to believe what we do not want to believe.
I never told him what he truly meant to me. I never expressed my feelings. Perhaps I never thought it was necessary, or maybe I never imagined that I would have to live without him.
After he passed away, the house and life felt empty. It did not feel real that he would never come back. I often think that I wish I had told him how much I loved him, what he meant to me, how much I miss him. Every happiness in my life feels incomplete without him. My heart feels empty without him. Our home feels silent without him. It felt as if this was the greatest loss for our entire family a loss that no one can ever replace.
If my grandparents were alive, I would be more attached to them than even my parents.

My maternal grandfather was also a great person. I was not as close to him because we met less often, but whenever I met him, I felt a strange sense of protection and comfort. He loved me very much and used to call me his daughter. He was always concerned about my studies and my health and would ask my mother about me. Whenever I met him, we talked a lot. He always guided me and motivated me. I could talk to him about anything, and whenever I needed any favor, he would always help me.
Two months ago, he also passed away, and it felt as if everything was gone.
These are the relationships whose value we truly understand only after they are gone. We often fail to express our feelings to them in time, and when they leave, a lifelong feeling remains in our hearts the feeling that we never got the chance to tell them what they truly meant to us.
Their absence taught me the value of expressing love in time, because some words remain forever unsaid❤️‍🩹