The Regret of Opening Up...
I don’t know if this happens to you too, but it happens to me a lot. Whenever I talk to someone, I keep noticing their reactions and expressions while speaking. And sometimes, if I feel like their reaction wasn’t what it should’ve been, or they didn’t respond in the way my words deserved, I instantly start regretting opening up. It feels like I forced my stories onto someone who probably didn’t even want to hear them. Then so many thoughts start rushing into my mind, and I can’t even find the right words to explain what that regret actually feels like.
I’m always trying to control myself telling myself not to say anything that might make the other person feel bored or uncomfortable, or anything that would later make me feel like I made a mistake by sharing. For some time, I stay fine and keep everything balanced, but then one day I end up saying that one thing anyway. And the moment it happens, all the mindset I spent so long building suddenly collapses. A wave of regret hits me so hard, along with this deep sadness, and all I can think is: “Why did I say it? Why did I open up again?”
I really hate this feeling. I keep wondering why I’m like this, why I feel people’s expressions and reactions so deeply. The strange thing is that on the outside I act like their reaction didn’t affect me at all, but internally I feel everything intensely. My mind keeps overthinking every little detail, and I don’t even know how to explain the chaos going on inside my head. It takes me a very long time to escape those thoughts.
And honestly… even now, I still feel like I couldn’t explain properly what I was truly trying to say.
Always remember, you are enough to bring a smile with your presence. Don't feel bad about opening up, but be afraid of opening up in the wrong place. I am exactly the kind of person who thinks too much about every little detail, and I know how hard it is to have a sensitive heart.
I realized when you say: "You don't even know what you want to say yet"
Their reactions made me feel like I opened up at the wrong place… or maybe at the wrong time. I don’t really know if I’m a sensitive-hearted person or not, but I do know that emotionally, a lot of things affect me deeply.....
We overthink about things that doesn't even effect others. That's why we stay discombobulated, probably.
It seems you're looking for attention. Maybe you're much more talkative to share your feelings to everyone in your circle. I think usually this happens when facts and logics are substituted with feelings and emotions but no one cares about them. People around us usually wants to hear narrative facts. Your situation seems like take interest in my words forcefully and this usually happens when we lack ability to share thoughts or facts of the intereset of listners. I don't say we should share what our listners want to hear but many of us lack that special marigold to whom we can share feelings freely.
You can pay heed in spending your time in explorations.
I think every person wants to be heard and given attention when they speak.
But I do agree that people usually prefer listening to facts, and sometimes when these feelings come from a close person, it doesn’t feel good.
Exactly same happens when our closest person doesn't pay heed.
But we should be careful if interests are not same