Somehow I don't feel that bad about it anymore.

I've made a mistake.

Or rather, I've made a lot of mistakes.

But there's one in particular that I've been fixated on for quite a long time.

And it hurts

A lot

Whenever I think about the mistake I made

Whenever I think about what I've lost

I regret it

I punish myself for it

I try to understand why I couldn't be better

But the fact remains that it's done.

And what's done

is done

From one perspective I've lost something...

But from another I've gained something as well.

_{was the trade worth it?}

That's a question, all right.

but it's impossible to tell

Once I've made a decision

Once I've gone down one fork in the road

In this road called "LIFE"

There's no going back -- It's a one way street

And I never get to see what was on that other path

So I never get to know if it was worth it.

But it's OK.

I can learn from the path I take

And maybe next time

I'll avoid that mistake

and...

I'll get it right

and...

Maybe

_{Just Maybe...}

I'll be happy 😎

and when I stop and I think about things like that... and recognize the mistakes that I've made

understanding that yes they can't be taken back... but there's always an opportunity to move forward (as long as I'm alive).

I don't feel as bad about it anymore.

I am finally starting to accept the past and my own faults.

And that's a big part of growing as a person.

A big part of becoming.

(whole)

- Guurg

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Note: I kind of wrote this on a whim. I've kind of been in a pensive mood the past couple of days partially due to being in severe physical pain.

It doesn't really have anything to do with that, but when I'm feeling this way I tend to dwell on the past a lot...

It might sound kind of strange constantly using the pronoun "I" over and over, but it is sort of meant to be read to oneself (IE. I'm reading it to ME).
Sorry if it annoys you 😒.
^{hahahahah No I'm not 🤣}

PPS. the sunsets were all taken by me
Camera: A6k
Edit: CaptureOne