I loved the story! But... as you noticed a zapfic is a very short story of 240 characters or less (including spaces!), not words. So this isn't a zapfic, but it is a really great piece of writing. I'm going to resteem it now, and come back later to upvote you when my upvote is worth a bit more. Don't give up: try writing a story under 240 characters! Thanks for your time and effort, it's really appreciated. :)

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