Are You Your Friend's Friend?

Some people would want the whole world to be done for them in the name of friendship, but when it comes to their own turn to lift up a finger for their own friends, they will start to give excuses. There are many things that make friendship stronger and better, and that include sacrifices. If you would want your friends to take steps for you, then you will also be willing to go a mile for them. Whatever good you want the people you hang around with to do for you, you should also champion it by doing the same for them. After all, friendship is better when the parties involved benefit from each other and not just one person.

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You may have your requirements and qualities you want in people before you make them your friends, but are you also fulfilling these requirements? If you want something in people, then you have to be willing to give the same thing. Trust me, people around you will know if you are a true friend or if you are just trying to take advantage of someone's goodness. One of the very important qualifications that should be fulfilled by you and your friends is "symbiosis." That is, a scenario where everyone has something to benefit from each other. But sadly, some people have tilted towards "parasitism," where just themselves will enjoy the benefits while the other party will not.

I once had a friend like that many years ago. During my early years in the university, I met this particular lady who seemed nice and of course, because of her appearance, it was not difficult to make her friends. However, in the long run, I had some reservations about her friendship. Each time she came around, it was for one form of favour or the other, to be done for her. Well, it was an honour to help her out in her moments of needs. After that, she would become almost incognito until the next time she would need assistance again. At first, I did not have any challenge with that, but something led to another thing, and I asked myself some very vital questions and got my answers.

Each time I needed help or assistance, she would disappear into the atmosphere and ghost all through until I solved it myself. It kept happening and it became obvious that she did not want to raise any finger for me at all. Even things that I knew she can help me with, she would still be unwilling to do it, but she was always quick to come with her own needs to be solved for her. When I could not play by her rules again, I had to distant myself from her for my sanity, after all I should not be the only one that is meant to be making sacrifices in the friendship. I advised myself that friendship is not a matter of mandate or by force, but a product of choice.

As much as you are your friends' friend, also make sure that they are also your friends. How to know a true friend is someone who will want your good and stand by you even when others have taken a bow.

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There are some supposed friends who will be comfortable with you being below them. In fact, they will support you as long as you do not get better than them. But when they perceive that you are doing better than them, they will begin to be jealous and envious of you and may even attempt to stop you. This is not the kind of friends you need, and you should not also be that kind of friend. If your circle are doing good, you should be happy because it will lessen the burden on you, and you can also learn from them to become better too.

How you want your friends to be should determine how you deal with them. Just like in farming, you will not expect to get harvest if you have not planted anything. So in friendship, what you take out of the table should be a function of what you have consciously brought to the table. But in all these, you have to be sensitive, cautious, and wise when selecting friends. This is because they can either make you or unmake you.

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