The worst karaoke party for flying squirrels ever (a squirrel horror story)
My house has a minor squirrel problem. There's probably a hole in my roof somewhere that allows them to come and go. I've tried a variety of traps for a while and nothing has gotten them out of there. My wife read that they hate strobe lights, so we took the girl's karaoke machine with strobe light attachment and put it in the eves of the house. They apparently don't like karaoke because they keep leaving the eves to go into the rest of my house.
I set up traps for this occasion. They apparently climb down the backside of my chimney to get into the house and then enter into the kitchen to look for morsels. My spouse is highly allergic to rodents like this and mentally gets pretty fatigued+ from it. So, it's on me to take care of the problem.
The very first squirrel I caught I used a broom stick from 5 feet away and landed a solid hit on his head. In hindsite this was a one in a kind shot. I have tried to use the same technique again, but these guys are fast and little. They're also very skittish so simple movements send them running. After the first hit I hit him again on the head to get him to stop trying to move back into the chimney space. He started bleeding a little from the head. My daughter happened to see that one and started screaming. Mom sayed "don't worry he's just stunned" over and over until she believed that she had just witnessed a stunning rather than a murder.
I put him in the trash.
The second squirrel got himself hit by a standard mouse trap. I took the trap outside where I could use blunt force tramua to his head with a pipe wrench to end his existance.
The third squirrel got hit with the mouse trap and attached himself to a glue trap. I brought him outside and he met his end.
The fourth squirrel was smart enough to get caught in the human trap. I brought him to a nearby park and released him.
The fifth squirrel, which may be the fourth squirrel, but I'm not so sure since i didn't mark him got caught in a similar way to the other and had the misfortune of both trap and glue trap.
The 6th squirrel got hit with a trap that I can't find. He's probably wandering the house with a trap on tail.
The 7th squirrel got caught in the humane trap and I took him to the park as well.
I'm a peacenik. I'm a vegetarian. I'm a decent shot with a rifle but I'm no hunter. I believe we're all one interconnected spiritual being. It's like we are all part of the particle/wave science. The great spirit among us all is the wave and the fact that we each have distinctions is the particle paradox. So, I don't like to kill things because I essentially think I'm killing a part of myself.
Now, I recognize that in this meatsack world it makes more sense to harm the rodent then to allow disease and harm to come to my people family. It doesn't make it easier to kill them.
On the Peace Academy last night I made some thoughtful comments for some of them. Here's a fw more words.
Dear Great Spirit and the Blockchain in the Sky. While I believe in the sacred right of life I also believe in the safety of a household. Those two things came in conflict today and I have taken the life of several squirrel's living in my house. I have sent them to the great trees in the after life. I ask that you bless them, keep them, and upvote their spirits as they come back to spiritual home. I hope they are able to find peace in the afterlife. Many blessings of a solid rest, a wonderful rebirth, and heartfelt loving wish for success on the rest of their spiritual journey.
I read your article, your aim is decent and clear , you will get success in future. thanks
Thank you sir
7x Minor rodent mass murder. I am sure the squirrely things appreciate a vegetarian ending their invasion-prone existence.
Rodents were once good, in the olden days, for harvesting their fur, so that when it was time for "Baby, get outside, into the cold..." well, furs saved many lives back then, keeping even peaceniks and their families warm and cozy.
True story, that.
Just don't allow the kiddies to name the critters. It makes it difficult to justify a warrior killing and gravestones will have to be carved and holes dug in the backyard.
The moral of this comment:
Furrries are good for something, too.
PS:// Worst news of all, animals don't make it to heaven. Sad, but true. Fluffy ain't waiting on either end. It's biblically shocking.
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Squirrel Pot Pie
~ 6 squirrels, quartered
~ seasoning salt
~ pepper
~ your favorite seasonings, garlic powder, onion powder, etc.
~ 1 – 15 oz. can Veg-All mixed vegetables
~ 1 can cream of mushroom soup
~ 2 frozen pie crusts
Place squirrel quarters in a crock pot. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Add your favorite seasonings if desired.
Cover with water and cook on low until the meat starts coming off the bones.
Strain out the meat and allow to cool. Remove meat from the bones when cool.
In a large bowl, mix the soup with a little water until smooth.
Stir in the vegetables and meat.
Pour into a pie crust and top with the other. Cut a slit in the top.
Place on cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees until golden brown.
Let cool a few minutes then serve and enjoy!!!
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