Crime and punishment: Treating diet and exercise as torture

The same goes for exercise. I love to hike with my dog, I love to skate (I used to play roller derby, now I just love skating outside or at skate parks), and I love to do vinyasa yoga. To me these forms of exercise feel like they have a purpose and they make me happy. If you put me in a gym, slogging away on a weights machine or something like that I feel bored to tears. Sometimes I can use a stationary bike when watching TV, but more often than not I'd rather be cuddled up with my dog and actually enjoying the TV watching.

I think there are too many people treating diet and exercise like a punishment. The goal is the ultimate sexy looking body, or at least that's the way it is pushed. It's not about being healthy so you can live a happier, easier life and have longer on this earth, it's about looking perfect for as long as you can until you start to fall apart and put yourself back together with cosmetic surgery. And to me that is a real shame.

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There is also the addiction/punishment side of exercise and diet. I love the exercise high as much as the next person and I always feel create after I sweat or complete a vigorous yoga session, but a lot of people use such punishing language when it comes to restricting themselves or hammering themselves in the gym.

If you love going to the gym and the way it makes you feel, and the keto (or whatever other) diet works for you and you love eating that way, I'm so happy for you. But I do see a lot of people who seem to be striving for the perfect physical form to the point they will happily indulge in unhealthy habits so they can get longer out of their workout or shred that last few lbs. And often these are the people that tend to crash and burn, yoyo diet, are never happy with themselves or their routine and are constantly seeking to punish themselves in a way rather than treat their bodies with kindness.

For me, it was all about learning to live in moderation. I have tried every sort of diet under the sun and hands down they all make me feel deprived and crappy. Any sort of diet other than just watching what I eat and aiming for an overall healthy balance seems to screw up my digestion and give me weird cramps. I've tried emphasising fat, emphasising protein and even trying that high carb super low fat vegan diet (and honestly that one made me feel the absolute worst of the lot, though I do still eat mostly vegan).

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I've also tried committing to going to the gym five to six days a week and hopping on the machines. Inevitably it makes me feel bored, frustrated and I end up blowing it off.

After I turned 30 I really stopped giving a damn about any of that except aiming for an overall healthy balance. Now I've found that I can happily skate for three or four hours straight until sweat is pouring off my, my legs are shaking and I'm utterly exhausted, and I can happily downward dog until my arms feel like they are about to fall off, because I just love to do those things so much that it doesn't feel like exercise to me. And for me that has been the key to learning to actually love exercise. Instead of forcing myself into activities I cannot stand, finding the ones that I can stand. And I really encourage others to do the same. Maybe it is the gym. Maybe it's kayaking or hiking or climbing or basketball or pole classes. Maybe it's just walking, which if done fast enough and for long enough can absolutely be classed as a good form of exercise.

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As for diet, if you've tried everything and not found the way of eating which suits you and keeps you healthy, maybe just try everything in moderation. Emphasise fruits and veggies, choose complex carbs over simple, and moderate amount of protein and fats. Eat to make sure you are getting all of your micronutrients like iron and potassium and not overeating ones like salt. Instead of trying to cram your square peg into a round hole and punishing the hell out of yourself just focus on better overall health.

Our society seems to have gone all or nothing. Roller derby was a classic example for me. Once you join a team you are expected to be obsessed with it, to the point that you spend all your time learning all the rules, doing extra workouts in the gym to improve your lower body strength and flexibility and balance, and giving up on all your holidays and other activities to make practice and games. We can't just enjoy something anymore, we have to be obsessed with it. That's just not me (case in point with the wide variety of topics I seem to end up talking about on here). I love skating, but I also have a whole bunch of other loves. Part of the reason I quit a sport I was really enjoying is that the time commitment expected of me was just too much. I didn't want to devote my entire life to just one sport/hobby.

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It seems people translate this “all or nothing” quality to their diet and exercise habits. You can't just eat an overall healthy diet you need to be “doing” some diet or another. Treat days or even a single treat on one day are to be frowned upon. You need to be eating all organic or all unprocessed and everything has to be 100% pure and clean. You can't have a day where you just feel like having a chocolate bar, even if you normally eat super healthy.

Once again, this sort of lifestyle does suit a lot of people. Some people like to make a big change all at once. But I feel like the rest of us often look at those people and feel guilty that we're not doing more or trying to be better, even if we do have a pretty healthy diet and exercise. It's OK to want to be super duper healthy, but at points it can border on obsession. It's also OK to want to go out every now and again and get drunk with your friends or to want to eat a cupcake here and there. You don't have to be perfect and freak out you miss a workout one day or want to veg with Netflix and a giant bag of popcorn.

Even where I live, in Scotland which is well known for being one of the unhealthiest countries in Europe, I see a lot of this. The vast majority of people here seem unconcerned about their health and so many people are just chain smoking and downing litres of Irn Bru a day. But there's also a growing number of the other extreme and I can't help but feel a middle road might be more achievable for most of us than one extreme or the other.

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Looking after your health is important. Being obsessed with being perfect and obsessively trying to hit a number of gym raps or perfect macro nutrients is not, and you might end up stressing yourself out over it so much that it does you more harm than good. If you adore your super clean eating and your strict gym schedule, awesome. But if it's starting to control you rather than the other way around, remember that taking a day off and indulging in a more gentler form of self care (like a glass of wine and a bubble bath) will not kill you!