Thoughts on my experience through "pseudo-celibacy."
Been thinking about that lovely feeling of waking up next to someone I really, really like.
I've also been thinking about the importance of cultivating self-worth from within. Not seeking pleasure or validation from external sources. I've been shockingly aware of my conditioned, deep desire to be seen, and touched, by another human-- just to feel like I exist. I fall into patterns of wanting to give love to receive love.
But I do exist already. Without anyone else, I am here, and I am whole.
Steepshot
You are right to exam yourself. Self-improvement is an important part of self actualization. However, in that vein, receiving pleasure from sources other that yourself is valuable also. All sources should be considered, then discarded if necessary. Just because something is conditioned does not autumatically make it wrong. You decide after deliberation.
For myself, I don't think getting pleasure from others diminishes my self worth. It enhances it. Love is the answer to lots of things.
Of course this happens. Past weekend I make a new friend and he and I clearly have an intuitive and genuine connection... Ask and thou shall receive. It's amazing how easy it can be to manifest the things we want, when we least expect it... @celsius100 It feels so nice to be cared for and loved.