I am still afraid to do exercises because my bones and joints are still very susceptible to injuries
How can I be able to at least gain some mass in my muscles if I can't even do a proper exercise? The answer to that based on my recent experience is "impossible" for the reason that even without doing some simple effort, sitting alone would tire my backbone, enough for it to develop pain and it is one reason why I was not doing chores lately here in our house. I have many concerns like getting injured while doing something, like as simple as walking, I am very careful about how to put each foot on the floor as I walk.
There was this old exercise bike that my brother already threw which my father scooped-up and sort of fixed and brought it here inside our house. I don't know if my father uses it but once I saw him using it and he was pedaling backwards so that he can work-out with less resistance and it is quite funny to see him use it like that where the normal way is to pedal it like a bike and doing it for more than one hour at least.
I never had touched that exercise bike and I am tempted because I do want to do some exercises for stamina and ultimately for getting some muscle mass so tat I can be able to make use of the food that I eat and solve my very low body mass or weight. However. fear would grip me because I might injure my knee and feet's joints which could lead me to more pain and immobility. So exercises would just remain a plan for me to do and I never was able to execute it for my purposes.
I had tried to do some arm exercises before but it ended-up with an aching elbow which made me feel to regret the challenge. It was not actually a challenge based on my experience because there was nothing to challenge in my body with this type of joint and bone condition that I have where physical effort will just lead to defeat. It could be also better if I do have a normal strength but I don't which is why doing some exercise is like trying to walk near the top of the summit of Mount Everest because I am like a battery only 5% change left after a few hours of charging it.
Now I think that I just have a blind hope that I will get better because it had been so much time that passed and still my normal strength had never returned. It started to dwindled as far back after I was admitted to one of the big private hospitals in the city where I was treated with antibiotics for inflamed Lymph gland on the sides of my neck due to infection in my already sick Kidneys at that time. After going back home I noticed that my strength had left me until my Kidneys have completely conked-out on me and the subsequent leaching-out of any strength left that I have until I found it difficult to do normal physical body movement. Now it is a real struggle to open drinking bottles for example so I have to ask for assistance to have bottles opened for me.
I can't seem to pin point the cause if my marked weakness but it could be my own auto immune disease which originally destroyed my Kidneys or it could be the antibiotics they used in me from the past in that hospital because I went back home weak where again, my strength never went back. Now I always think about continuing with my life because it is just pointless really to live like this for the reason that I am not really enjoying life, I am just like a slow-moving vegetable with no prospect of travelling, raising a family, or being physically independent. Had it not been for my access to the internet to at least kill my boredom, then my life will be as boring as ever.
I guess that I will just let God work on my life and direct me into what he wants because my fate in life is still not clear at this point into where i would end-up in the future. But one thing is for sure, my physical life will not be better in the future especially when the ones that truly cares for my existence will be gone before my time and that is what I am afraid to happen but I still have to be brave of what the future holds for me because I am certain that it will still be a challenge after challenge where my only rest is physical death.
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ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴀɢᴇs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ @cryptopie 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥
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I'm sorry you have to go through this, right now I'm sobbing because it's not easy for you. But I want to let you know that things will get better in the future because your God will make a way for you so don't worry about tomorrow just be thankful for today and leave tomorrow to God
I hope that you have the tongue of an angel with your kind hope and wish for me. Time is not on my side because I am just temporary patching things up and there will come to a point that something has to give.
All I pray now is not to have much pain in my body so that at least I can be able to walk around without much help because I tend to get depressed when I am in pain and needing assistance to go around the house for my purposes.
If you believe in your God and his miracles you won't die and time will always favour you. Don't speak negatively about yourself that's what is getting you depressed not even the pain. Do your best with the ones you can do and the ones that will cause you pain don't do them.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like an enormous burden—physically and mentally. Please don’t underestimate how much strength it takes to write about this so openly. I hope you have good medical support and people around you who take you seriously. You’re not alone.
I am just doing a temporary fix with regards to my joints and bone condition which is why my pain and mobility had improved and actually saved my life thanks be to the mercy and help of God.
Thankfully dialysis treatment here in my country is now totally free because of our government health insurance system, I am not even required to pay because I belong to the disabled persons sector, the government pays for my premiums.
I do get support from my family and MCGI church but my body really is hard to manage because in have to endure pain and mobility issues not to mention not being to socialize to other people because of what happened to my physical appearance and body.
Thank you for your honest words. I can understand how exhausting it can be to live with pain, limited mobility, and changes in your body, especially when it makes you withdraw from other people. A good friend of mine has a very similar situation. She is severely limited in her movement and needs a wheelchair when she goes outside. What helps her a lot is her small family, who give her strength and support.
I truly hope you continue to receive the help you need and that, step by step, things become a little easier. If you would like, we can also stay in touch. Sometimes it already helps just to have someone to talk to.
Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.
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