My uninteresting life as a peculiarly disabled person with a long life-battle where at the end of it will just be a defeat

in #life20 days ago

Nobody in the world can ever fit my shell lest they will never cope and fail with defeat because it is insane.

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If a man would get into my condition and situation quite fast, I do not know what would become of him or her, definitely they would most possibly think to end their lives rather than face the most horrid thing to happen because of the disabilities which comes with it. First, the disability of having no working Kidneys will already change your life for the worst as your energy would dwindle away as years passes-by because I felt it myself and seen other patients went into the same path to fade away and die like a burning candle, consumed from within. Pain will accompany the person after some years which actually starts from when the Phosphorus levels are elevated because it would immediately tell the Parathyroid glands to the bones to leach-out calcium from them in an attempt to balance-out the blood's Phosphorus levels but it will just mean a bone deterioration to the patient and ultimately will show signs of Leontiasis Ossea because of secondary Hyperparathyroidism which is caused by high phosphorus levels which is caused by the patient being unaware of what they have to do in the first place which happens all the time at least here in my country for the reason that every action that the patient would take will just mean extra expenditure which most patients are lacking if not the doctors and nurses couldn't care less for the patient's health and life.

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Pain had visited me and away now it won't totally go. Uncertainties for my bones alone will make to feel terrified, shattering your mind and body like a beaten-up stone.

That is why people in my situation are just hopeless for their future (Mortality and quality of life)) because even conventional medicine couldn't fix us, just bridging our life a day at a time or 2-3 or 4 times per week (dialysis sessions and extra medicines) particularly to our bones which would eventually get to destroy and pin us down no matter what we do with conventional medicine. However in my case with regards to my bones, I had found a way to treat it and I couldn't be much more happier of the result of reversing Leontiasis Ossea by nit throwing Calcium from my bones anymore. It indeed raised my quality of life and well-being so much that I might last longer and achieve more milestones in my life, breaking records for longevity years after year which can actually give me a crown for achieving such a thing that many patient like me would see as an inspiration for them to continue with their own "forsaken" lives in the process and thinking that maybe being a Chronic dialysis patient isn't a death sentence after all. But even though we can raise our quality of life, it is a hell of a life being like this for the rest of our lives because until now, pain still haunts me, I cannot walk normally, I am still weak, I have a very bad appetite most of the time, I rely on other people to help me, and our family is small which can offer me physical support if I needed it during such crucial times as being hospitalized and going from point a to point B whenever A need for it arises and I even ask for help to my older brother if I needed to cash-out from ATMs if I needed it. So in short, the disability is a force harder to reckon with with such patients like me who had fought a long, long fight and still standing among my "fallen" (saved) co-patient comrades and still in the end will suffer defeat because of too many battles in many fronts that I have to manage for as long as I am still living.

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In my lifetime I had reached many levels of achievements but nothing will really make me en-up with a that ultimate physical normality of a feeling.

A disabled man in my condition and situation starts and ends his day the same manner like the other past days. But for my case it comes with a twist because I am in a different niche for earning money and that factor alone really makes me happy and not hopeless or feeling depressed. The impact of cryptocurrency in my life is profound because I was able to use this kind of instrument to support my important needs and had it not for this ability to earn, I couldn't have been no more many years ago. So because of that I really regard myself as lucky and blessed. That is why I start my day with so much happiness and hope by looking at my financial portfolio and claiming rewards, but even before that my Mother would have asked me already if I wanted to eat my breakfast or not and then she would bring the food into my room. After those things I would just watch some videos, listen to music, attend church online, or go to my dialysis clinic in certain days of the week or times of the days. My most special meal of the day is after I came home from dialysis because that process would only be the moment where I can eat with enjoyment, the rest of the in-between meals before the next dialysis treatment is like a chore to do. That is why I am really quite excited to get my dialysis treatment particularly now that I can go for a three times per week sessions due to the government healthcare insurance, the sessions had improved in the number of sessions covering most of the three times a week requirement of many patients which improved their quality of life and was just a dream for me back then but now a reality which I can enjoy.

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My peculiar life had been like carrying a cross with no name, its a lifetime of a torture and an unending battle game. But what is important for me is the real rescue of God because all these things will not matter anymore when I start my life in heaven and that is the real ultimate real score.


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