SEC-S17/W4 | "Trust, gift that can impress me"

There is this saying that's stuck in my head till this day that goes like, "The first flower a man receives is on his funeral day." Can't recall for the life of me who dropped that wisdom bomb, and after some digging, I'm clueless about who the originator was. His statement, whenever and wherever it was uttered, probably still lingers in the minds of countless other dudes out there, just like it does in mine. It speaks volumes about the deep-seated pessimism many guys feel about what they're supposed to deserve, and that might not come to fruition till forever and a day.

I recalled this line from the legendary stand-up comedian Chris Rock, who said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. And you know what? It hits hard because it touches on this whole gender stereotype thing that's deeply rooted in our society.

_{Rock's basically saying that men only get love if they bring something to the table, while women, kids, and even dogs get it no matter what. Image source here}

And then there's this ongoing scream from feminist activists about the injustice women face without really acknowledging the suffering men go through. I'm speaking objectively here, meaning I'm not trying to deny the fact that patriarchy and capitalism have screwed over millions of women. And let's not forget the vulnerability women face when they're often being treated as mere objects. What a sad fact of life.

The even more cold, hard reality is that men actually feel the pain too, but society pressures them to keep it under wraps and always put on a brave face. Come on, let's spill the beans guys @heriadi @dove11 @alee75. I just want to spill our secrets here, LOL.

"These men suffer. They suffer in a society that does not want them to change, that does not want them to reconstruct masculinity so that the basis for the social formation of male identity is not rooted in an ethic of domination" - bell hooks

Yeah I didn't mess up writing the name of Gloria "Feminist" Watkins without capitalizing it. bell hooks, Watkins pen name said that she used the lowercase spelling of her name because she wanted people to focus on her work and not her personal self, which to me creates a whole new paradox because one of the most talk-up things about her is that strange, uncapitalized name.

Let's forget about bell hooks and all the drama surrounding her name. Let's focus on the philosophical value she brings. She continues by saying that men, instead of admitting their pain, they pretend. They put on a front. They act all tough and privileged even though deep down they feel totally powerless sometimes. But since they can't admit how much they're hurting, it's super hard for them to challenge and change the whole stereotypical image of hyper-masculinity.

Becoming a man has freed me from materialistic happiness and inclined me towards seeking things that nourish my soul. I don't need a big bunch of flowers or sparkling jewelry because to me, their value is not more than physical. If I asked what is the most precious gift someone could give me, I would say without hesitation, T-R-U-S-T. It is that simple.

_{Trust is hope. Perfect hope should hang on trust. When someone trusts us, whether in personal or professional relationships, it means they have given the greatest gift that they might not give to anyone else. That is why I value trust so much because it cannot be exchanged for any currency in the world. Image source here}

Sadly trust is not something eternal. It can dissapear at any time when one or both parties in a relationship let go of their hopes for each other. I have gained trust and lost it thousands of times. That "feeling" disappears whether initiated by myself or by my relationship partner (remember, relationships aren't just about personal connections). Trust comes and goes as time passes.

Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Instead, I'm grateful for having placed hope and trust in others, regardless of whether the endings were happy or sad. I'm fortunate enough because my personality continues to be shaped through getting to know all of them.

"If I'm sincere today, what does it matter if I regret it tomorrow?" - José Saramago

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Thank you for taking the time to read my post

Have a great day

El-Nailul