Lets talk about Sex in a positive way
Sex has been in the news now for months in such a negative way. I stare and wonder, because: “am I the only woman that only had positive experiences with sex?” Sex should be fun, it should be good, for both parties. In all my years, I seem to only meet men, that want to make sure that women are pleased with what they do in bed, or at least they say they do. They want the woman to scream out in pleasure, that it is great. Why is there so much negativity around sex?
Sure, I have heard quite a lot of stories of friends that are not satisfied with their sex live. My reference point are women that are around their 40’s and it might be cliché, but being around this age means we are wise and old enough to know what we want and just to enjoy, at the same time the hormones tell us there is a last chance of a baby, which increases the sex drive. What an unfortunate event that it takes about 20 years to get to this state. I do have quite a fridget woman in my friend base, and I don’t envy her husband, as I am sure it is almost a sexless marriage (officially a sexless marriage is when you do it less than 11 times a year, within the marriage of course ). I don’t say she should be different, she is sculpted by her past, and seems to drag it with her. And I wonder how long a sexless marriage can hold? We often blame the partner for having an affair, we live in a world where we shame the non-monogamous, where it is not done to look at others, but I understand very well that if there isn’t any at home, that you go out to seek it. Even if the relationship is good at home, and loving, why do we restrain ourselves and is monogamy an expression of love?
I wonder anyway, why the world is so prudish, why we shame people, why if there is a naked picture on the web, this is horrible and a problem for one’s career? Why are we as people so ashamed of what we do as a species? With more openness, I believe that we would be less controlled by dogma’, by shame and woman would be less controlled and ashamed and blamed, and maybe start enjoying sex more already when we are young, instead of 20 years later.
Finally someone who puts it in opposite perspective 😊 , all that negativity isnt good for open minded... 🖒
Actually this should be the normal perspective and the other one should be the odd one out.
100% right, unfortunate it isn't often like that...
Some really valid points and thoughts expressed here. It is my experience that some people just are not sexually compatible. Some people have high sex drives and others have nearly none. It's important that people are equally matched. Love and sex aren't the same thing - not even close... I believe that relationships strengthen when people can do things together - share experiences. I think that when people don't do things together anymore relationships weaken. When we strengthen relationships with people other than our partner, we potentially weaken the relationship with our partner. Shame, resentment and bad feelings are sure ways to drive a wedge in any relationship. No matter what - work on strengthening your relationship with your partner - especially if children are involved. I think it is really important to be honest and transparent with a partner where needs aren't being met. Usually a touchy subject with your partner though...
I do agree mostly with you on the fact that you need to spend time together, but we sometimes expect too much from a partner. We are our own entity, and not always a union. Experiences don’t always need to be made together, especially if you like other things, and it gives room to admire the other person or interesting stories. I do believe that sexual compatibility is extremely important in a relationship, but needs do change over time, and indeed talking about it is really difficult, because it can easily end up in resentment.
Good evening and nice to hear from you after a long while. Just believe you are doing well.
Well since am not married, I may not have much contribution to this topic.
Well to my own view about people don't or might enjoy sex in marriage are those who married because of the drive to have sex. And from time to time, I do counsel my fellow youths who are in courtship not to make sex the objective of their getting married. Rather marry the person who has the same vision with you, marry the person who will understand your feelings and sex will never be an issue in that marriage.
Also I feel some marriages are suffering because either the man or the woman have being having sex with other men or women before getting married. And those people gave them high satisfaction but now that they are married they tend not to see that same satisfaction from their spouse as they expected.
This is one of the reason aside religious views that has made decided to wait till marriage for sex.
my view
Dear Gideon
Good to hear from you. I know you come from a different culture and I admire your dedication. But I think it is better to try before you buy :-). Not to go from one to another and another, but because sexual compatibility is important in a marriage.
That sounded a bit funny to me based on my beliefs and personal decisions.
Well my mum married as a virgin because she told me and confirmed it from some books in her custody about sex. And she was with my dad for close to 30 years until his death three years back. So since their marriage was a happy one then I think I can follow that same step seeing it worked for them.
I believe your sons are doing well. I sent you a message reply yesterday. Try checking the @steemminna account and tell me your view on that.
I understand it must feel strange for you. Here is a stranger one for you: my mum told me to explore before marriage, even though she married a vergin and is happy.
Culture diversities and beliefs. I will be happy like your mum when the time comes.
Sexuality is a complex topic, and we become it more complex in the practice. Sharing your body with another body must be great, but many times we are thinking in doing the things well, and we mustn´t to think while we are enjoying in the the bed (or kitchen, bathroom, the park, etc) . It's the opportunity to let out passions to drive and they need to be free. If we think that sex is bad, they won´t be free and we won't enjoy.
I hadn’t seen you response. Indeed it is a choice if you accept or reject monogamy I also think it is a choice to enjoy sex or be ashamed and closed. Still society determines a lot and puts us under restrictions, as it tells us what is normal and what is not normal. And I find that strange that we are not more open about a thing like sex, that everybody should enjoy.
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