Tough Decisions and a New Beginning
This picture is from our wedding in 2007. I went a little artsy on it with the Toolwiz app.
When @chackett came home from work a few weeks ago and said he had gotten a call from the oil fields that day, my heart sank just a little. For the past 3 years myself and the kids have been spoiled rotten by him. And we love every minute of it. The thought of him traveling 20 days at a time for work is one I really didn't want to have to entertain.
When he first started his career in the oil fields, we were just planning our wedding for later that year. By the time summer came, he had earned more than enough to fully pay for the wedding of my dreams. (including 2, yes TWO wedding dresses, because David's Bridal fucked up my first one in alterations) By that time the next year, we had moved back to Colorado and had a new house built. The money was good.
I wish I could say that we had been smart about how we spent that money. We weren't. In the end, when he was laid off in the summer of 2015, we had nothing in savings. We were in the process of moving back to Washington to be near my family, so luckily we had money from the sale of our home in Colorado. It was just enough to get us by until @chackett found the job he's at now which is a local 9-5 deal. We got all settled in and got into a routine as a family. But the job he's doing now pays just enough to cover our bare living expenses. Healthcare coverage is offered at his job now, but it's too expensive. Most months we run in the red, but my mom helps us out a lot. That weighs heavily on Chris' mind. I know it does. He's used to being compensated very fairly for the work he does. This job doesn't fulfill his needs.
That's why I decided to pick my heart up when it dropped and swallow the tears coming up. Because I know that this time, we're going to be damn smart with that money. And we're going to cherish every minute we get together when he's home. And we're gonna get through this together. Just like we always do. It's going to be so hard to be away from him, but we've lived this life before, we know what to expect.
To be completely honest, after I let go of my selfish reasons for not wanting him to go, I actually felt relieved. I know that he will be much happier doing a job he loves and being compensated for it in such a way that we can really change our lives in a short period of time. How can I say no to that? Our children need us to be strong. They need us to be stable so that when the shit hits the fan in this country, (whenever that may be) we'll be ok. And I can't help but get a little chuckle out of the fact that some of that oil money is going to be converted in good old steem power and help the crypto economy instead of fiat. HA!
It wasn't an easy decision, but it's not all doom and gloom. I share a lot about us here, and I hope that I'm not being too open, but I kind of see this blog as a way for my children to know their history a bit. Long after I'm gone, this will still be here on the blockchain for anyone to read. Kind of like digital scrapbook pages. Maybe someday our kids will need to hear our thoughts on why we made this decision. Maybe they'll hate us for it. Maybe they'll read this and reconsider. Maybe they won't. At least I tried.
Everything we do now is for our kids, of course. They don't know that their state provided healthcare insurance is about to run out. Or that mommy's healthcare insurance was cancelled after she sought help from a mental health professional after Simon's accident. They don't know that mommy and daddy haven't had dental insurance since that day daddy was laid off from the oil fields in 2015. Or that mommy and daddy's teeth hurt all the time and that's why we don't eat. It's not that we can't afford the food. We can't afford to fix the teeth to chew it. This is average life in America. We are deemed too rich to receive any kind of state or government help except for the kid's health insurance which we only got because of the short time @chackett was unemployed, we qualified for a 3 year grant. But that runs out this summer. So you see, even though we have enough, a nice house, running cars, heat, water, food etc... We can never really get ahead like this.
So the decision is made, and now we are just waiting for the official offer letter and start date. Which should be coming in today. It's bittersweet. Money problems solved, but much more time apart. We just do what we have to do I guess. I've been having mixed emotions about it all week, but writing it down helps. There are quite a few of you that have reached out with your kind words and offered us support. Thank you! We appreciate you all listening to our problems and such. haha! jk. We are a resilient family, we got through 5 years of infertility, then TWINS! then the twins were 7 weeks early! etc..... We always bounce back, but we appreciate the love and support we've received from the Steemit community. So I just wanted to take a minute to thank you all for reading and let you know that we are ok! Really. We're gonna be just fine. Love to you all!
Oh kelli <3 I am truly excited for your family! I can relate to so much of this, your husband working for less than his worth, poor financial choices, ugh even the lack of a dental plan. I cannot wait until we can afford to get our teeth fixed! I am sorry that you guys struggle sometimes too but so pumped it is going to change for you! I am here if you ever need to chat! I always have time to lend an ear xoxo
Great things are ahead Hacketts!! <3 <3 <3
Thank you Karen. ❤❤❤
That was pretty deep yo.....Between you and me....I hate my job, but I loved the Oil Fields. The worked was hard, it was cold, long drives for a 30m fix and 2 hours of paperwork. It is what it is, but in the end it will all work out. The offer should come in tomorrow, because its 730 there and management doesnt work part 5, not even in the fields lol
I know babe. love you 💞
No such thing as "sharing too much" your vulnerability, openness and honesty is what this fake assed world needs my beautiful Sister!!! I'm so happy that you share, this is what makes you AUTHENTIC!!!!!!
I feel like the blockchain is all about transparency anyways, might as well use it as a place we can tell our story. At least no one can ever edit or censor our words here. 😍
@khackett and @chackett you guys are so strong and I know you are going to overcome all this garbage together, i am truly overwhelmed but I already said before I was surprised by your bravery and courage kelli to shared all, you are so honest, I joined steam to spend some time, but I started to meet real people with real problems, that even with fear and complication don't give up just decide how to overcome them and those are you guys, best luck and don't worry everything will be for the best.
Aww. Your children should be proud for having parents like you. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life. God is good all the time. God bless you more @khackett 😊
There's always a choice to make. And there is no bad choice, if you think its for everyone's sake. People from outside your country think you are all so rich. Nice cars, nice houses. They don't know those are necessities. I have relatives who moved there in hopes of living the American Dream. Some succeeded, some didn't. Some said they barely see each other for working more than double jobs to keep up with the bills. It sucks.
But this is a very good choice you made for your family. You gotta do what you gotta do. The twins have amazing parents and I know they'll understand the choices you made.
thanks for sharing this information about what you and yours have gone through or would be going through. I wouldn't have noticed it since you and your posts are always full of positivity.
I'm not going to say Be Strong since the only simple thing about it is advising it (it is actually hard for the person being addressed to). Instead, it is always good to remember that true love is sacrificing one's happiness for the betterment and happiness of the one's they love 💪🙏💖
Great article. Tough times are never fun, but they can form strong bonds between people and families. I'm happy to see that was case for you and your family. That is a beautiful wedding photo.
Changes come at the correct time. New path in life and which way to go. Never stand still for nothing happens without movement. Love
I wish my mom had a blog like this. I'd really like to know what she was thinking when she abandoned me at 6 weeks old..
i can't tell if you're joking. 😫
Not joking. My birth mother left me in a baby seat at the end of the driveway when I was 6 weeks old. I've never met her. I'd love to know wtf she was thinking when she did that?
Oh Dave. 😢
You may never know why she did it. But I would trust that whatever the reason, she must have believed it would be better for you. Wrong or right, at that time she believed it. Just one perspective? If she was a single mom with no support and possibly had post partum depression, that voice tells you to do things you wouldn't normally do. It sucks that you may never know her reasons, but you turned out pretty good. I'm sure she'd be proud of you. Sorry if any of that rambling is offensive, my heart just goes out to you friend. hugs
She was married to my real dad... a multiple time convicted child molester.. luckily for me he only liked little girls..
Oh wow. I would say she was definitely trying to protect you. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm sorry it happened to you anyways. ❤