Glasses and feelings, the endless battle in my heart
I have had a couple of them and they all seem to end up the same way. With time, the legs get wonky, the glasses get scratched, they do not suit your face anymore. You grow out of them, trends change. Life goes on.
It is funny how this is so true. Life gives us one thing but we always grow out of it, we change. Relationships come and go, love... love is more tricky than that. I love the feeling of pink glasses on your face. The honeymoon period, when nothing bothers you. But in truth, relationships are harder, they ask for work and sometimes they go so far that they become beyond repair.
You grow out of each other or one brings the other down, it is just like with friends but harder, more painful to do. But deep down you know what you need to do, take off those pink glasses and put on the ones that are actually meant for your eyes.
It is weird and funny, how your eyes can fool you. You don't even know that your eyesight is not the best anymore. Not until you put those glasses on and see everything clearer. Your eyes need a doctor who will give you the medicine and your symptoms will be cured even though your spectacles will still be broken, just like your heart. Forever breaking and healing, in that endless cycle.
Here is the 5-minute writing prompt that I based my story on. Feel free to participate in it. And give the amazing @mariannewest some love!
P.S. This is a short 5-minute prompt that revolved around Glasses.
I am at weird crossroads right now. But to be completely honest, I have always been in them, there is always a choice to be made in one's life. What do you do? Do you take the easy exit or go uphill? Around it maybe? The whole life I have struggled with love. For me, it is a weird concept. Is it really love we feel towards our family? Or is it just the fact that we are so familiar with them?
I honestly can't tell. I care about my mom and my brother, there is not that barrier, like with other people. I know they have to be there for me. But the fact is, they HAVE to. Would I be friends with my mom if I was not related to her? Probably, but I would not be so close to her. What is it? That makes us trust our family more than any other person? Why is there that barrier with others?
I know I sound lost, I sometimes am, especially when I feel empty and alone. It is so easy to feel disconnected from this planet, like you are just aimlessly floating, for infinity, forever. Like you weight nothing but there is a mountain on top of your heart. My hands tremble, not visibly but inside, in my mind. I am not hungry but I want to eat, it takes my thoughts away from what I am doing.
I know that I need to change something but I am not sure I am making the right choice, I have a battle tearing me apart. I feel the void and my brain is empty but full of thought. I am anxious, I am lost and at the same time, I hear my subconsciousness and she is fine. Am I winding my own emotions up? Am I provoking the adrenaline in my body?
So many questions, such scattered answers. I am pulling away, day by day. Can I ever be happy or does the sadness run in the family? Is there always going to be that unsatisfied taker in the middle of my soul?
My hands are weak, my legs shaky, but I continue on, babbling less loudly and screaming in my head. What do I do? How to think? Where am I going to be tomorrow? Can I look into another's eyes and tell that I am proud of what is happening now? I do not think I am weak but confused I am indeed.
I just want to be alone, in the middle of a forest, lay down, let the sun shine through the leaves and kiss my skin. I do not know when the storm will calm down, but I just hope that there will be another day that will bring light and peace to my soul.
P.S. My recipe post is coming tomorrow, sorry for the delay, I wasn't the one cooking today so I can not present my dish yet.
Have the best day, today, tomorrow and forever,
Linda
Oh my goodness. So much feeling, so much I can relate to in this.
First, excellent analogy in the first part. I mean, really really AMAZINGLY insightful.
As for the rest, I'd say it's pretty much perfectly normal. I remember feeling the exact same way about relationships, my struggles with friends, love interests, family... it's so natural and yet still so difficult, because no matter how much we are so similar to so many others, our details are different. Just enough that it can leave us feeling so isolated and alone.
You are not alone and I hope that you find those things that make you feel fulfilled and happy. This is really a wonderful, REAL and from the heart post. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me and I may come back another time or two after thinking on it more, because I'm pretty sure it's going to stay with me for a while.
Yeah, I was kind of feeling like putting my heart out :D Those freewrites tend to do that, bring my subconsciousness forth and tell the keyboard what I really feel. And yesterday I was a little wonky with feels and it turned out to work in my writings favor :)
I have talked about this so many times, my rational mind understands why I sometimes feel lonely but my emotions have their own way :D I know I am not really alone but my emotions are lonely at times and it is okay, without downs there would be no ups, I appreciate those times when life slaps me in the face, it makes me think and not be one with a faceless crowd :)
Thank you for your wonderful comment, I had to think for a while of how to answer so you would know it meant a lot to me. It means the world to me that another person can relate to my feelings and writing!
Sending all the best vibes in the world to you!
Oh man, I hear you! So many of my freewrites were like therapy for me! Mine are allll over the place, but it definitely seems to bring up things that I need to work on or think on. I think freewriting allows us to stop overthinking it and just let it out. I swear writing has been some of my very best therapy! I'm glad my comment was positive for you! Sometimes I wonder if I should put SO MUCH into a comment!
Keep writing and being real!
@byn
You definitely should! Even though comments do not get rewarded as much(that is why I spend most of my voting power on them, there are so many gems out there), I would take a long, honest, full hearted comment over ''nice post'' any time!
The same here, writing is my one mental outlet that helps me understand me, I hope I never have to stop, here is for our arms always serving us well!
It is important to discern the difference between spirit and emotion, there is the spirit of love and there is the emotion of love. Emotions are transient, they can rise and they can ebb, they originate in your soul but they are tightly bonded with to your body and mind such that chemical changes and electrical responses follow and mimic these changes. The spirit of love, on the other hand, is simply there or it is not.
The love between a parent and a child and between siblings is a natural bond that in normal circumstances will remain even if they grow apart as individuals and no longer enjoy each others company. Emotional love comes and goes and the ties that are created from it are easily broken. But a spiritual bond of love can not easily be severed and to tear it apart can be extremely painful. An emotional love separation needs an emotional band-aide, a spiritual love bond separation needs the equivalent of a spiritual hospital to recover from.
If natural love becomes broken or is missing this indicates that a possible spiritual deformity or disease exists, that person is lacking something that should have been inherent at birth. A parent that does not and can not love their own child is spiritually severely handicaped and should never have children and is not capable of properly nurturing and raising children. A child that is born without the capacity to love a parent may never be able to spiritually love anyone, it has a spiritual deficit, a birth defect.
You do not have to like someone or have anything in common with a person to love them in spirit, you can disagree on politics, religion, music or anything else and still love someone with spirit. These things are not true with emotional love because they inherently cause emotional conflicts which soon leads to a mutual desire to separate and declare peace, or at least a truce.
To go any deeper into this subject from my point of view would require a discussion about the Creator and about how and why we were formed and about our relationship to both the physical and spiritual worlds. So I will leave that off for now, but I am always open to such discussions from those who are seeking answers to the deeper spiritual aspects of life.
I guess it is true, you can never compare the love for your family, the one that just comes, without any ffort, to the love of other humans. For me it is just a weird concept because I believe that we should love everyone equally, we should have the capacity for that because initially we are all the same, we are all connected. I do not think that there should be circumstances that should dictate how much we could truest strangers.
You know, in the ideal world...
I think we are incapable of equal love between each other because we are very self centered creatures and we can not trust each other. If there was more compassion and readiness to help each other without judgment, in my opinion, it would increase all of our capacity to love, no matter if we are closely related or not.
Oh Linda - I feel your struggle and like Byn said - it is so hard to go through but an almost universal experience - maybe just in our type of society where we really do not have that much closeness and support. Or maybe everywhere. And it sounds you already know your answer. Maybe a vision quest out in nature is in you future.
Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us!!
Thank you for the prompt! I loved this one and I think it helped me with some emotional cleansing. I let my emotions flow and ended up feeling better after them, the analogy came out on its own(It is funny how humans are able to spin any subject any way they see fit) and I just knew what to write.
Those five minute prompts are amazing, they are similar to my dreams, they tell me what my subconsciousness really feels and what I may have been confused about before.
Thank you so much for creating such an amazing initiative!
Sending loads and loads of love your way!
Sometimes it is hard to tie together thoughts like these. You did it nicely. I like the idea of the sun kissing skin on a carpet of green forest.
Yeah, I think emotions are important to talk about and express, you should not pile them up but rather have an outlet. Being closer to nature is my outlet, of course, it is winter now and laying on the ground is not the best idea but just going out for a second or two helps :)
Lol. Nice. Yeah...you wouldn't want to lay on the ground here, either. Although it was 70 degrees today (a nice respite from our snow last week), the ground is drenched.
Yeah, can't say that I am a fan of laying on a wet, cold ground :D
Hello,
Very moving story.
Stay strong.
And laying in the forest in silence with sun shinning down on you is so good for the mind.
I often go for a jog into the woods, and even know i am not needing a rest, i just choose to lay on the ground and let all be silent, i don,t know why but all my pain just seems to go away and i no longer thinking, i notice i am just dreaming, then i gut up and keep running and i feel amazing.
I highly recommend this for clearing the mind.
Have a beautiful day
Yeah, it is sometimes amazing to disconnect your brain from the busy world of cities and noises, being alone, just letting your mind flow, helps me a lot as well! :)
Totally agree with you.
I am off to do that now, only for half an hour or so today.
Have a great day/night.
Thank you and good luck! :)
family is happiness, love will come and go, money will go by itself, but having family is the happiest thing for everyone.
This is a difficult thing for someone, when I think I want to be a forest where you lie down that will make you feel good.
Be a star for your family, stay together, because togetherness will solve all your problems.
Yeah! No matter our differences I will always love and appreciate my family, they have always been there for me and, I hope, they will stay there as long as possible :)
Sometimes I think life would be easier if human beings were more logical and less emotional. My life would be a lot easier if I could reason over my emotions. I appreciate the post it was fun reading. I really needed to a lot that you wrote.
It would be easier, that is completely true, but I think it would not be so powerful, we would not have joy about the world, love towards how beautiful things can be. Plus, we would probably just eat, sleep, work, reproduce and repeat, the world would be gray and meh.
I think so... Can't really know, though :D
Really amazing choice to go with such a strong analogy like that.
My favorite part was questioning the friendship with family even if they weren't family. Interesting to think on :).
For me it is an absolutely weird concept. There is that bond with your blood relatives, or maybe it is just us being used to them :D. And that bond makes us not feel self-conscious about ourselves around our family, or rather much freer.
I do not think I have ever met somebody who is not my family that I can open up to like that.
I love the hope and light in your last thoughts. Everything evolves and flows and it's not easy to remain on the surface of this immense dark ocean.. but there are moments when the ocean can be a miracle of beauty. I wish you can find that forest 🙂
Yeah, I think it is the only thing we an do, hope that the darker days will be over soon, do something to try and chase them away. It is okay to sometimes be confused or lonely, as long as you see that light in the end of a long night :)
Sometimes, even our family do lost that believe we have in them and it will be like only friends can be there for us. The love is natural but it can be lost.
I think, love can be lost but that bond and knowledge that your family can not really give you completely up stays. Hopefully.
Well, family will always be family no matter what. Friends cannot replace them.
True that!