Art Explained by a Writer: Longing (1913)
Whatever they say, the feeling won't go away. How often have I sat at this table, staring out of the window at the begonias? That deep longing to be free, not to be lived, to be a slave to husband, home and children.
I am lying when I say that I am happy. That marriage gives me everything I need. There is no satisfaction, no action in my life, nothing that makes me happy, nothing that gives me a sense of fulfilment, the feeling that I am alive. Something gnaws at me deep inside. My talents are constantly being stifled; I feel robbed of all happiness.
Slowly, my voice has fallen silent. I no longer talk about my dreams or my fears. Only the begonia in the window knows how many hours I have spent picking at the flowers in utter despair. Tonight is the night. I put on my wedding dress and ran out. Something I should have done long ago.
As I step into the dark night and the fighter planes skim over my head, I hear him say: She had an easy life and everything her heart desired.
A few steps and minutes later, there is a dull bang followed by a deep sigh from the sky. The wind was the only witness.
Wat zij ook zeggen het gevoel gaat niet over. Hoe vaak zat ik al aan deze tafel, achter de begonia's uit het raam te staren. Dat diepe verlangen om vrij te zijn, niet geleefd te worden, de slaaf van man, huis en kinderen te zijn.
Ik lieg als ik zeg dat ik gelukkig ben. Dat het huwelijk mij alles geeft wat ik nodig heb. Er is geen enkele bevrediging, handeling in mijn leven, niets wat mij gelukkig maakt, één volwaardig gevoel geeft, het gevoel dat ik leef. Er knaagt iets diep van binnen. Mijn talenten worden steeds weer gesmoord ik voel mij van alle geluk beroofd.
Langzaam is mijn stem verstild. Ik spreek niet langer over mijn dromen nog mijn angsten. Alleen de begonia voor het raam weet hoeveel uren ik uit totale wanhoop aan de bloemen heb zitten plukken. Vannacht is de nacht. Ik deed mijn trouwjurk aan en ga er vandoor. Iets wat ik lang terug had moeten doen.
Terwijl ik de donkere nacht instap en de gevechtsvliegtuigen boven mijn hoofd scheren hoor ik hem zeggen: Zij had een makkelijk leven en alles wat haar hartje begeert.
Een paar stappen en minuten later klinkt er een doffe knal gevolgd door een diepe zucht uit de lucht. De wind was de enige getuige.
26-1-2026
Painter: Harald Slott Møller
Painting: Longing (1913) - public domain
The contest Art & Writing is hosted by @solperez
This is a devastating text. We women keep many feelings to ourselves, and in doing so, we repress desires that later translate into silences, lackluster looks, apathy, and listlessness. What a terrible legacy Eve left us with her original sin. Fortunately, times have changed, so that the possibility of doing with our lives what we want—and not what religions say is right—is increasingly open. I loved reading your post. Hugs.
Este es un texto demoledor. Las mujeres callamos muchos sentimientos, y así vamos reprimiendo deseos que luego se traducen en silencios, miradas sin brillo, apatía, desgano. Que legado tan terrible el que nos dejó Eva, con su pecado original. Por fortuna, los tiempos han ido cambiando, de manera que cada vez se abre más la posibilidad de hacer con nuestra vida lo que nos venga en gana; y no lo que digan las religiones que es lo correcto. Me encantó leerte. Un abrazo.
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I am not so sure the life of women in general changed. Only if it comes to recruiting them to fight wars. Their time is still in the hands of others (not different from many males).
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Well, maybe they haven't changed by the desired percentage, but I think some have already stopped believing that they are men's "ribs", hahaha.
Bueno, tal vez no han cambiado en el porcentaje deseado, pero creo que ya algunas han dejado de creer que son las "costillas" de los hombres, jajaja.
Gracias por el apoyo. Me siento honrada de recibirlo.
In ancient times, women were very submissive , nowadays, it's the complete opposite. The point is that sometimes they're too liberal, but as I always say, it's an individual matter and perfectly respectable.
It depends on where you live. Many women still are, they keep up appearances and should obey. They smile in the open and are chained and locked in.
The point is men are too liberal, all humans are in a way but if it comes to it they all crawl, crumble, follow the leader and are without an opinion. Only strong men accept strong women and don't complain because she has dreams, works for her goals instead of his and she stands on own feet. Its not that you are not a man if the woman can take care of herself, has her own income and life.
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I like a visionary woman, one who has goals and works towards them. If she's a woman who's more concerned with building her own future, even better. And the detail I like most, but haven't found yet, is that she's feminine without being ostentatious. I like conservative women; I don't like those who think they're getting attention by showing more than they should. That's my opinion, but I respect others'. It's very pleasant to sit and talk with a woman who can discuss any topic. All that stuff about "it's a beautiful day," "it's hot," etc., bores me.
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Thank you so much for your support.
I wish you a happy weekend