What do you wish you'd known about sex, when you were younger?

If I had 60 seconds with my younger self to tell him everything that he needed to know about sex, love, and intimacy, I would keep it simple and tell him these five things.

Enjoy….

Actually wait!

Before we get started, I need to make a couple of disclaimers.
The ONLY great sex is consensual sex. If you are with someone who is inebriated in any way, don’t do it. If someone says “No” it means “No”. We’ve had enough sexual scandals to last a lifetime. Don’t add to them. If you don’t know, then just ask.
Be safe and always wear a rubber unless you’re in a committed relationship and your partner is on birth control. Yeah, they’re a pain in the ass, but they’re better than an unwanted pregnancy or life changing STD.
With that out of the way.

NOW you may enjoy…

1. The Quality of Your Sex Life = The Quality of Your Overall Health and Bloodflow

Often times, men will suffer from some sort of sexual dysfunction and immediately assume that there is something wrong with them or that they need to uncover some hidden trauma that’s lead to erecetile dysfunction 20 years later.

In my experience sexual dysfunction is almost ALWAYS a symptom of underlying health issues, never the actual cause.

In my own life, when I struggled with performance issues, I was eating like crap, sleeping like crap, and not exercising for crap.

And the result?

My bedroom performance was crap.

There was nothing wrong with me as a man. I didn’t have deep seated psychological issues to deal with.

I simply had improper blood flow and an out of tune body.

Once I began exercising 3–4 times a week, eating a whole foods diet, practicing yoga for 30 minutes a day and sleeping 8–9 hours a night, my problems “Magically” disappeared.

If you’re struggling with performance issues, then start by addressing your physical health.

Are you getting enough high quality sleep?

Are you lifting weights (whether you’re a guy or girl) 3–4 times a week?

Are you working on your mobility and blood flow by stretching and practicing yoga?

Are you spending too much time sitting down at a desk?

Are you eating the right foods?

When these issues are taken care of, the bedroom issues tend to sort themselves out.

So if you want an amazing sex life, take care of your physical health.

1. Size Doesn’t Really Matter as Much as You Think It Does

Most guys freak out about the size of the gentleman downstairs.

Through porn, pop culture, and locker room talk, most men have been led to believe that anything less than a 12′ King Cobra will be a disappointment to most women and condemn them to a life of eternal virginity.

JUST STOP IT!

I’ve interviewed dozens of women and dated dozens more and EVERY single one of them said the same thing.

“Size matters. But not as much as you think it does. I’ll take an ‘average’ guy who’s conscious and knows what he’s doing over a ‘huge’ guy any day of the week.”

I won’t lie to you and say that size doesn’t matter at all. It does.

But it’s not as big of a deal as you think it is.

And even if you’re a gentleman on the smaller side, it’s ok.

Make up for it by maximizing foreplay and being a conscious lover.

Women care more about the way that you make them feel psychologically than they do about the size of your package.

Realize this and it will set you free.

1. The Key to Great Sex Isn’t Stamina… It’s Presence

I used to think that great sex = long sex.

If I was able to last for 30–60 minutes, then I assumed the sex would automatically be great.

However, as I grew up and had more sexual experiences, I realized that the key to great sex isn’t stamina, it’s presence.

The best sex of my life ALWAYS happened whenever I was fully in the moment. When I wasn’t distracted by work or anxiety and was simply being present and fully experiencing that moment of time.

If you want to improve your sex life, then take a step back and breathe.

Relax.

Pay attention to your partner.

Get out of your head and into your body.

Notice the details on their body. The smell of their hair. The contact of your skin.

Get present and it will change the entire encounter.

1. Women Want a Man to Take Charge in the Bedroom

I used to believe that women wanted a nice guy in the bedroom.

That they wanted the same gentleman in the sheets that they wanted in the streets.

I was wrong.

MOST women (as with any rule, there are exceptions here) want a man who will take charge in the bedroom.

A man who will lead the encounter, sweep her off her feet, and make her feel wanted.

There’s no sexier feeling for a woman than to feel that she’s the sole point of desire for a strong grounded man.

But to make her feel this desire you have to take charge.

Lead the encounter, communicate effectively, be dominant (in a healthy way).

Pick her up, carry her to the bedroom, and ravish her.

Don’t be that shy timid guy asking “Is this ok?” “Are you sure you enjoy this?”.

Be respectful of course and always show consideration for her desires. But don’t be afraid to take charge and be the leader.

Most women want this more than you know.

1. Have Fun With It

Sex isn’t supposed to be so stressful.

Society, dogma, and previous generations vilified sex and made us believe that it was something shameful or dirty.

It’s not.

And it doesn’t have to be a source of stress in your life.

Outside of procreation, we have sex because it’s FUN. It feels good and makes life more enjoyable.

So ENJOY IT DAMMIT!

Stop being so serious about your sex life and learn to let go.

Have fun with it, be respectful, and be safe.

Sex is meant to be enjoyed.

Hope this helps.

Stay Grounded,
Andrew