@rasamuel, I understand that constructive feedback does not need to be a positive one. It would have helped if you had picked out the part with wrong syntax and bad tenses. I appreciate all constructive feedback as most of us are learning. I am not a professional author with loads of editors on my payroll.
FYI: the story contains some humor and as most things in life do not come all packaged to perfection.
Regards,
@greenrun
(author)