Firstly I shall be frank. I am extraordinarily afraid of heights. I don’t even climb on ladders or other assorted wobbly or nailed down things.

We made our way to Wild 5 Adventures which happens to be on the same property as The Oribi Gorge Hotel. Even MJ(intrepid brother and batshit crazy daredevil extraordinaire) was starting to get a bit nervous. I happen to know that heights aren’t a comfortable experience for him either. I think it runs in the family, since baby bro is also iffy about heights in general. Thanks Dad!

We started off with their Zipline. The Zipline is an interesting one, since it takes you into the middle of the Oribi Gorge on the same cross line the swing is attached to. The view is spectacular. We took some photographs here and there on the way back to THE SWING itself.

As per the videos below, the Swing itself flings you out over the waterfall. The noise is staggering. It’s also a heck of a long way down. The guides are knowledgeable and do a decent job of explaining what the safety features are. * Not that I remembered any of it, since I was terrified.

It’s hard to describe the experience. It feels as if the swing itself is pulling you to the edge and then you jump. The feeling of weightlessness seems to last an eternity and then your body shakes hands with gravity. It’s almost a shock to your system. I’m not sure when exactly I grabbed hold of the safety harness, they weren’t there when I jumped and were when I got to the bottom giggling like an insane asylum refugee. MJ reported experiencing the same sort of feeling as did our Step Brother Ivan, who joined us along with the Bride Groom and a few of his party. I went down quiet(because I tend to do that when afraid for my life), MJ let out a startled squeak and Ivan was screaming half way down.

The view from the bottom up is spectacular. Wild 5 Adventures will give you the video of the jump on a disc for a small fee. This video is taken from the other side of the waterfall on a tiny outcrop for the guide to sit on. Personally, that is more horrifying than doing the swing. If I recall correctly though, the guide has a decent safety harness to strap him to the rock. 2 Out of the 3 of us would do it again. Vertigo be damned.

We explored a few of the more concerning outcroppings in the Gorge and caught up with old friends we haven’t seen in years.

The next stop was Lake Eland Game Reserve, where we decided to do the Zip Tour and the Extreme Zip. On the way there you pass various animals to your destination.

We rented a GoPro for the escapade to capture some footage of our shenanigans. The Extreme Zip Line was an interesting experience, it literally felt as though my crash helmet was going to blow off.

The Zipline Tour tour itself is a tour of about 4.5km through a different part of the Oribi Gorge. If you’re going to do it, use sunblock or a long sleeved shirt. I somehow managed to get my one armpit sunburned, and that isn’t fun. It was an awesome bonding experience for the four of us that actually took part in the tour.

We were supposed to join up with everyone else for a braai/bbq, but they wouldn’t let people in or out (as Lake Eland is a game reserve) when the gate is closed. I’d never been so grateful to be sleeping off site. Instead, we went hunting for a Barber for MJ(since he didn’t want to turn up at the wedding looking like riffraff), raided the local Dis-Chem for goodies and got dinner.

We were referred to a gentleman Barber in Margate so we went on the hunt for the man with quite possibly the most patchy directions in the known universe and no name. The only information we were given was: it’s opposite a Debonairs in Margate and he is open until 9 pm. Oh, and there is a big sign. We managed to track the shop down. Which turned out to be a rather strange little place, most of the posters I couldn’t read. Although there was one of him in the news paper for winning some sort of beard design award.

I’ve never been into a barber shop myself, what with not having a beard to slice and dice. The place is extremely old school with straight razors and little warm flannels. It was surprising to see just how many ungents and other assorted lotions and potions actually go into maintaining beards. The whole thing reminded me of Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street, except there, was no blood and everyone walked away alive. The man’s skill with that blade was astonishing. He was lightning fast and very detail orientated. The funniest part was when he was threading MJ’s cheekbones. I’d never heard my stoic brother complain about pain like I did that night. This from a dude that got himself waxed from the chin down for losing a bet.

When we visited Aqua Planet Dive Centre we noticed a Chinese Restaurant and Sushi Bar next door. So we decided to give it a shot. Decent Chinese food isn’t something all that accessible in Richards Bay (at least not without selling a kidney on the black market)and I’d been dying for some sweet and sour pork for ages.

Long Fen is an unassuming little restaurant with friendly staff. We tried China Wine for the first time... My body fought the concoction all the way down to my sternum. Judging by the green cast MJ’s freshly barbered face took on, I’m inclined to believe he was struggling with it as well. The stuff is 50% proof and all kinds of awful. Even old faithfuls like Tequila and Straw Rum don’t come close to that stuff. I’m convinced that I’d be dead if it wasn’t for the Chinese Beer I washed it down with.

The food was good, starters of Prawn Spring Rolls and Vegetable Spring Rolls. The Sweet and Sour Pork was delicious. I wasn’t too impressed with the Shredded Sizzling Steak. It had a weird almost curry like undertone that I found off-putting. We then rounded the meal off with Maki Sushi which was lovely. All in all the whole meal was a success. We even had some of their freshly made prawn crackers...I think. They also sell sweets from China (at an exorbitant price btw) and we grabbed a packet to bribe my Step Sister’s rugrats into behaving for the ceremony the next day. Now that I think about it... I haven’t actually tried them yet.

The Coral Wedding

The day of the Wedding dawned bright and sunny. We went to breakfast and then the preparations started. And I fell asleep in the bathtub.

We got to Lake Eland earlier than we were supposed to and then proceeded to get lost... Again. Mostly because the Reception Desk had no idea what was going on. Which was annoying. We ended up collecting other lost guests and invading the bar while we waited for the ceremony time to come marching on.

The Chapel on the property was cute in a rustic sort of way with plenty of seating. The ceremony itself was sweet and the vows sprinkled with humour. Venetia looked lovely in her wedding dress. The bridesmaids wore Coral as one might expect from the title of this writing. The celebrant was surprisingly good and witty. After throwing rather a lot of rice and petals at the newly married couple we all proceeded back down the hill to the reception space while the photographs were taken.

We made some new and interesting friends, met up with those we hadn’t seen in years and mourned those that could not be present. We danced until our feet bled, drank too much and I even ran into a guy I went to school with in the band. At12pm we all got our bums kicked out and we headed back to the hotel. The next morning we got all our gear together packed the Caddy again and then proceeded back to Lake Eland for a horse ride.

The horse ride was relaxed (even if I hadn’t ridden a horse in close to 15 years) and we got to watch other wildlife from horseback. We had planned to visit the suspension bridge but gave it a miss since we needed to get back up the coast to face Monday Morning and work. This time we took the Gorge road in daylight and got to see how close to death we actually got when we went through there in the dark. And not even the more interesting part. I finally remembered my phone was fully charged.

This is only the beginning of our adventure streak. There are definite perks to being single and child free.