The one who works for Aliens
The following story is real. Some personal details were changed to secure the anonymity of this person, but their views and beliefs are presented as accurately as possible.
Also there will be a twist in the end, but it's not a difficult one to see coming a mile away.
So I know this one person, who always wanted to experience something Paranormal. That person was also doing drugs and was taking hallucinogen substances and was known for petty theft. So one day this person claims to have made contact with sentient beings from another dimension. Those alien creatures have chosen them to be their representative to human race on our world.
So, about those aliens: They cannot be seen or interacted with in any way using senses or instruments, because they exist in some higher level of reality. But they are the ones who built our universe from scratch and created intelligent life on this planet. They were able to do all this with their psycho-kinetic abilities. So they are incredibly powerful. And this one person I know claims to have the means to communicate with them. Now those beings are channeling their thoughts and instructions to this person. And the way that those aliens reveal their presence and will is by the use of various forms of paranormal activity and telepathy. So this person is having visions and is hearing voices in their head.
So I once asked:
"Wait, so those creatures who can control matter and thoughts, they rule the universe, they can build worlds and create sentient intelligent life... Why do they even need you?"
"Oh, they need me. They need me to tell everybody about their existence. Because it is the most effective way of doing things. Those beings just want to help us and tell us how to live and what to think, and what are we not allowed to do, and what are we not allowed to think. So you know, this world could finally be a better place. And I have to tell people all about it. They also promised me that they will take us to their homeworld, where they will enhance our bodies and make us forever young and rich. I'm supposed to be telling everybody about it because all those aliens want is our well being."
He also warned me once:
"Be careful because there are other people that claim to be the alien ambassadors as well, but many of them are impostors. You can easily tell them from the real ones, because they talk all sorts of ridiculous nonsense. They tell people that everlasting youth can be achieved by consuming the material tissue of those immaterial beings, and that they are able to transmutate earthly matter into this alien tissue. And so many ignorant fools fell for it. I can't understand how people can be so gullible!"
So I asked:
"But how can you prove that you yourself are telling the truth?"
"Why wouldn't anyone believe me? Can anyone prove that I lie? Don't you want riches and everlasting youth? Just look around! The existence of the world is proof itself that it had to be built by brilliant powerful beings from another dimension! The whole universe is a proof! Who could possibly argue with the universe? And if that is not enough, than I can perform special alien ritual with incantations and symbolic gestures that can summon the immaterial presence of those beings. And thanks to that ritual humans can receive power from those aliens!"
"Why that would be huge! Do you already have this power? Can you show me what you can do with it?"
"Of course!"
And so they showed me. This person closed their eyes, raised their arms and started speaking unintelligible jibberish for about a minute.
"There! I have been speaking the secret language of alien beings from another dimension! Now you have the proof that I have their power! Still unconvinced?"
For some reason I was not convinced.
"Well It's evidently because you are unreasonably sceptical and you have a closed mind. That's your problem right here. I will reason with you no more, but be wary, that if you remain this foolish, one day you will regret it. I have to tell you that those aliens are planning to invade our planet and annihilate everything that lives. And the only ones spared will be people like me."
"But why would they do that?" - I asked - "First you tell me how benevolent they are, and now you're saying that they are bloodthirsty invaders who will bring about global genocide! Why would they want to murder us all?"
"Well, it's beacuse they created us as inferior creatures compared to them. They could easily create us perfect and beautiful, but they chose not to. And now they are not pleased with us. And they blame us for how they made us, and they are very disappointed that we are not able to be as perfect and good as they are. But they can still fix us! They just need to teleport us to their world, but first you need o accept that it is true! Otherwise they will be very angry."
"Why are you siding with those creatures? Don't you care about their murderous intentions and their lack of empathy for us?"
"Well, to tell you the truth, They have already did me some favours and by the way, for me it is a pretty great deal in the long run, don't you think?"
"So you say that you have sold yourself to them for a promise of riches and everlasting youth? You have accepted a bribe from psychopatic monsters and you're boasting about it!"
"Why are you are making it sound so bad? I just have a different point of view. Besides, admit it: the world had it coming. People will pay for all the immorality."
"Immorality? And what do you think a global genocide is called? Charity? You think that creatures like that are even going to kep their word and spare you?"
"You know what? You think you're so smart and you're just trying to find a hole in the whole. And you know what's the worst thing with you?"
"What?" - I asked - "Tell me."
"YOU SPEAK OF THINGS THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT! And you want to convince me while you have NOTHING TO BACK UP YOUR ARGUMENTS! And with an attitde like that you fully deserve to be eradicated."
Well, that's about it. This person to this day is trying to sell people the idea of aliens from another dimension that want to help us not get murdered by them.
I'm sure you alredy know what the twist is: Yes, this guy is a Christain. He may be more on the charismatic side, but what he believes pretty much covers most of the spectrum. I just removed all religious words and replaced them with apropriate synonyms. And that reveals what Christians really believe.