"I have an Angel watching over me and I call him, Brother"👼💙

Everytime I remember him, my heart aches and I can't do nothing with that. That's why I'm drawing him to release the pain, maybe.

Picture Reference

My beloved brother

Jayson J. Ligaray, April 17, 1989 - February 14, 2016 "A brother others would never have."

"Manoy" is what I and many of us always call him, or older brother in english which is already innate in him.

Manoy Jayson was the eldest among us, 6 siblings and a very loving and caring one. He was a sickly child back then, that the hospital seemed like his 2nd home when he was still a kid for he went there for almost every week because of his weak immune system and so as his body. But my parents didn't gave up and continued raising him into a good person.

He grew up just like a typical teenager but what made him different among them are his visions and good deeds in life,

He has no enemies,

He has a lot of friends which were really true to him,

He was able to find happiness in simple ways,

A picture he posted in facebook.

He enjoyed every single moment of his life,

He always finds the positive side of a certain scenario,

He was able to help our parents sustain our needs even though he was not able to finish college,

If he says he loves you, he really do,

He loves God and so his creations,

a picture he posted in facebook with a caption, "gifts"

He served in our community as a volunteer,

He was a member of a youth organization in our church,

His collection of identification cards in different youth activities and programs

He helps,

He helped others gain motivation and inspiration to continue their lives.

He offers, what he can offer

He offered his song to the lord.

He was good in kids too

Pictures of him and his favorite niece, Frylle Evans.

He loves us, his family

This was captured on January 1, 2016 during new year's eve.

And most especially,

He can manage to smile despite of the problems he was carrying.

He sometimes cries at night, thinking of the problems we were facing. Though there are times he doesn't say a thing but we know, deep inside he was really affected.

"We may not be a perfect family but we share the strongest bonds"

Drawing is our way to have fun and hangout with eachother. Its our way to share knowledge and insights about a particular art work. We even joined a group of artists in cebu which is, Guhit Pinas-cebu and joined meetups together.

We used to have an art session in our house which we practiced our skills in drawing together.

Our pictures drawing something together which he posted on facebook as our bonding time.

Some of his works

He is fond of drawing anime characters

He was very supportive to me, that he was one of the most influencial persons who encouraged me to join art contests.

One contest i once joined was the "Titus Doodle Art Contest 2015", I went to the venue with just an ample of money inside my pocket, but he came and lend me some for me to buy my lunch.

He then waited for me to finish the contest that lasted about 5 hours in totality. Though i wasn't able to win the competition but I was still very overwhelmed and I just kept it on myself, unnoticed.

Our bonding continued, happily exchanging thoughts about art, though we argue sometimes but It's our own way of saying "I love you to eachother".

I didn't have any idea what would happen days and weeks ahead.

But my world seemed to collapse when something really unexpected happened.

It was our barangay's fiesta, February 11, 2015. He was very happy then, enjoying the night with us and his friends, we didn't expect something horrible would happen.

It was supposed to be a happy night.

He was in coma

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what happened and why it happened

Things happened very quick

He was in coma for 2 days since he was admitted, which is February 12-13.

I didn't have any idea that this would be our last picture together

In facebook, he posted our pictures while I was busy painting a picture. He then added a caption that says "Let's do selfie with this future artist" and a hashtag #proudbrotherhere

I was in tears, thinking that he already left us.

He died on February 14, 2016 with a young age of 26

Yes, a very big valentines day

How life played with us, since February 14 was my parent's Wedding Anniversary and as well as our anniversary with my girlfriend and we were supposed to went to the church but didn't happened.

That day really is a meaningful one.

But before he died, there are already signs that he's near to the hands of the lord.

He was just supported by a pump oxygen for him to live and he inhaled with his chest moving outward, seemed like he really was having a hard time to breathe.

I can't even afford to watch him in that situation.

I admit it! I cried a lot.

Infront of many people, For I wasn't able to bare the pain of the fact that he's already gone.

It was very hard.

But what's harder is that I wasn't able to attend his last wake. I wished I had, but some important matters should be attended, and that is a regional contest.

I even questioned God why didn't he even helped my brother which I knew is wrong for we cannot question His grace and might.

And I should say, As i was writing this blog, I didn't noticed that my tears were falling from my eyes, voluntarily.

Though It was very hard to accept and it needed years for me to recover, But I can't really help it from happening for it is God's will so just have to accept what happened, slowly.

What I just did after the incident, I rejoined the "Titus Idoodle Contest 2016" but now I offered my work to God and to my brother, I seeked for his help.

Here was my entry:

And with him and God's grace,
I won as the champion for the junior category.

A trophy and a cash prize

I was very happy then, that I really believed that he's always in my heart and He wil always be supporting me in my journey.

Despite of the challenges, as the days passed by, We later on accepted the truth that he really is gone and he's already in God's hands.

We just always pray that he is now in good hands and we hope that he will guide us safe.

And by the way, Here's how I made my drawing for him

A step-by-step process

Techniques I used

Cross-hatching
Cross-contour
Contrast directional lines

1. Light sketching

I first used a pencil to sketch the shape of my brother's face

2. The inking process

I used a blue ballpoint panda pen for it was one of the pens my brother used to buy. And i chose blue for it symbolizes heaven and peace.

3. The inking process II - the right eye

I first draw and emphasized the right eye.

I then added more details and shading

4. The inking process III - the right side of the face

I added shading to the right cheeks including some details of the right part of the nose.

5. The inking process IV - the lips and the continuation of the right side of the face

Then...

6. The inking process V - his chin

7. The inking process VI - his ears and the continuation of the right side

Then...

I added more details and shadings

8. The inking process VII- The left eye

Then...

9. The inking process VIII - The left side of the face

Then...

10. The inking process IX - detailing and finalizing his face

11. The inking process X - his neck

Then...

12. The inking process XI - His body and his favorite sleeveless

Then...

13. Finializing

And here we have it!

Indeed, "life is short, time is fast no replay, no rewind"

If it happened, then it happened we can't do anything about it but we just have to accept the sad and painful reality.

There's a symbolic quotation that says,

image source: http://thedailyquotes.com/life-4/

All of us may have been hated death for getting some of our loved ones, but life is just an ample percentage of the totality of life itself and death is the start of another Amazing journey.

I made this drawing in memories of him and it was his 2nd death annivery last week's and this year's valentines day.

To Manoy Jayson,

We know that you already are in good hands and we know that you are always guiding us in our lives, Thank you for the memories together!

WE MISS YOU! AND WE LOVE YOU!

Photo credits

Though sometimes, memories flashes back and the pain strikes back again but that only means that You will always be remembered and you will always be in our hearts, forever :)

And to all people,

Please love your family, for we can't predict death itself :)

Till we meet again, BROTHER!

Thank you for spending your time 😊 peace y'all! 😊

@ligarayk