How to Fuck: Fucking Lessons for Beginners (~Mature~ Reader Discretion Advised)
Hi, how the fuck are you today? My fucking name is @nonameslefttouse the fucking writer him the fuck self. Fuck, I'm here today to teach you fuckers a little fucking lesson. Now sit the fuck down, get some fucking popcorn and fucking relax.
Fucking is not the easiest fucking thing to do. Many mother fuckers will get all fucking pissed off with you if you start fucking around. I'd ask those fuckers to leave the fuck now if this is not you're fucking thing as to avoid further fucking damage. I truly mean no fucking harm to you or your fucking beliefs. The last fucking thing I need is a fucking lawsuit. Read this fucking disclaimer if there are any fucking problems. As for the rest of you friendly fuckers, fuck on my friends, fuck on.
Fucking the fucking fuckers should be taken seriously. Never fuck around or you will be told to fuck off. Get to the fucking point. One fucking day you will remember this inforfuckingmation and be like:
Oh fuck yeah! I remember that.
Never forget to use your fucking memory. It's the most important fucking thing to any potential fucker when attempting to fuck. Fuck the fucking fuckers gently.
Fuckers caught fucking around with the fucking shit will be fucked. Think forward while fucking or you will get fucked.
Getting fucked is not something people like to fuck with. They leave that shit the fuck alone. In other cases getting fucked could be the greatest fucking thing. It's all a matter of fucking perspective. Learn which fuck is for you.
It is always best to first agree to fuck before you fuck. Simply ask, "Would you be interested in fuck today?" You will get your fucking answer. The fucking answer might not be the fucking answer you'd like to fucking hear, but you better do what they fucking say. Fucking abuse is about the worst fucking thing any fucker can do.
Fucking Conclusion
Once you fucking know how to fuck properly, many fuckers from around the fucking world will come to see your fuck. They will enjoy your fucking company. They will want to fuck all day and into the fucking night. It'll be fuck this, fuck that, fuck these, fuck those and fuck them all. Now would you look at that fucking clock?
~ I was a little hesitant on pressing the post button. I thought about it a lot. I decided to censor the parts that I felt were offensive. I hope I didn't miss anything. We should be able to get through this difficult moment, together. Besides, there's far worse in store.
Something to help with the calming process.
Are We Okay Now?
I hope so, because I'm simply not going to allow this article:
...to fall into the depths of Steemit's sometimes overly short attention span. I've updated it to answer a very important question that came up as well.
I don't mean to annoy people, I'm not promoting that article for profit. I'd like it to be shared, passed around. If people would even go so far as printing a copy before they head to the grocery store. Maybe leave a few laying around. Maybe ask a few store managers how much progress they've made so far. I insist the added efforts will be rewarding to many people on this planet. The answer, is simple.
If you're new to this blog and feeling a bit confused, it's okay. What I've done here today is a simple demonstration. Many who saw the title of this article were put off instantly. Many who clicked and began reading became offended, started to judge me accordingly. This is fine. I value your beliefs, you do not need to put up with things you don't like. When you look through the windows and begin to see beyond the surface, there you will find the hidden meaning. If nobody catches on, if people continue to remain superficial in nearly everything they stand for, they will continue to starve.
More confused? Read that article if you have not already. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make every article I write here about the same thing over and over. It's annoying, isn't it? Doing the same thing over, and over... causing people so much pain, never changing.
See what I did there? Thank you for your time and more importantly, your open mind.
There seems to be something wrong with my helmet. Do you keep saying different forms of the word "flower"? Because that is what I am hearing. I may need to get Dennis to take a look at this thing. Have a nice flowering day!
Well look who the flower showed up! Lord-flowering-Vader! What the flower are you flowering doing here? Have you come to flowering choke us all with your flowering space magic?
Don't flowering tempt me you flowering mother flowerer!
What the flower is that flowerer doing behind you? Flowering you with his flowering fingers? Flowering Lord Vader. Always getting flowered somehow while still flowering trying to flower the rebel princess. IT'S YOUR FLOWERING DAUGHTER, YOU FLOWERER!
Now just what in the flower are you folks flowering on about now?
We're just flowering talking about flowering up some mother flowerers. Do you have a flowering problem with that flowerer?
Well don't let me flowering stop you.
I just flowering picked this flowering thing flowering now. Flowering enjoy, flowerers.
Well fuck, this fucking post took a fucking hard left turn.
Just three lines in and I was crying from laughing so hard. Following you now.
Fuckin eh my friend, fuckin EH!
Obviously, They certainly Love it. Ha ha ha
I fucking loved this.
Thank you for loving the fuck out of this!
LOLed so hard. Thank you :)
Fucking laughter is the best fucking medicine. Thank you!
Well...if I dare fuckin' say my fuckin' self...that was very well fuckin' put! BTW, I didn't hesitate a fuckin' bit to hit the fuckin' POST button...it was my fuckin' pleasure!
and a happy Fuck You to you too! Thanks for the fucking support, I fucking love it!
WTF?
F, F indeed.
Flagged for making Steem look like a low-life trash site. It isn't even written well, isn't funny, nor entertaining.
Whales are you trying to self-destruct Steem by upvoting this crap?
On a serious note. Offending you was not my intention. The intention was clearly stated in the article. I'm sorry about the inconvenience which I may have caused. I didn't know you would be around. I honestly did not know you existed until now. In the future I will be more careful around you. I hope you could eventually see past what you do not like. I hope at some point you read the entire article. I've made adjustments for you. It's your choice to make adjustments for me. I truly am sorry and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Just because you have no sense of humor doesn't mean the rest of us don't.
Are you building a serious social media juggernaut or just having fun in a private corner of the Internet with your buddies?
Social media. Keyword, socializing. Your behavior, anti social. Conclusion, your way won't work, it's a failed business model before it even got off the ground. You're either trolling, or your serious. I looked at your blog, I hope you're not being serious. You may be in the wrong field. Just some food for thought.
There's no problem with you writing this for your buddies and social media circle. There is a problem with a super whale upvoting it and allocating resources from the collective to your little circle which would be offensive or at least not valuable to most others. Socializing good. Socialism bad. Hope you know the difference.
Read the articles I wrote. Then tell me this bit about the flags again without looking like a moron.
"I thought you were a smart man"
Cut the shit already. I can't stand passive aggressive weasels and you're starting to bother me.
"Flagged for making Steem look like a low-life trash site. It isn't even written well, isn't funny, nor entertaining."
" my vested interest against your microcosmic audience."
" offensive or at least not valuable to most others."
"marketing idiot"
"Apparently it will be difficult for you to recognize maturity when you see it."
"I thought you were a smart man."
"rather the lack of comprehension of you two dragged me into a long explanation."
"@nobrainleftinthehouse"
"Must be that mischievous leprechaun perched on your ear."
"You'll be the clueless poster boy"
"some others shared your delusion."
"@nologicleftinthehouse babbled"
"Yet somehow I think the point will continue to fly over your head.
I wasn’t assailing your character, but you took the discussion there because obviously you never understood that I have no problem with your creativity."
Your words. I keep telling you to leave. When did I ask you to continue telling me what you're telling me. I understand you, I just don't want to hear any more essays from someone who is clearly disconnected from reality. I'm not arguing with you. You're arguing with someone else, according to you. That person isn't arguing with you. Why are you here?
"How upstanding, consistent, and non-hypocrite of you to argue for social network harmony and now insinuating that I must leave Steem(it) before you do."
I'm telling you to leave the comment section of a comedy blog which happens to be my blog. Why you spin words and come to nonsensical conclusions based on that is beyond me.
You're a fucking troll.
Thank You!
@anonymint Please go invest your time wisely. You've been an asshole here to me and everyone who voted. Go find a more productive hobby. If you truly did know what you were talking about, you'd be saying it to people who will listen. I'm only here to produce art, say a few things and make a bit of money. It's working, so get lost.
Why would you even waste your time saying all this stuff? Go write an article, get paid.
I googled bitcointalk.org. 1.76 million hits. I googled the word fuck 1.42 billion hits. I don't care if you spend your time in forums preaching psycho babble all day @anonymint. I don't go there and tell you what to do either. I don't tell all of your supporters to just quit caring.
You're basically telling everyone in the world who started at the bottom and wanted to work their way up... "don't bother."
I've heard enough. Your script is old and moldy. You talk the talk, now go walk the walk. Maybe we'll do business in the future, but I fucking doubt it.
Now again, please, try to have a good day. (and leave me alone.)
To top it all off... I went and read some of your comments where you lay your claim to fame.
Good God man! You're so full of shit, your eyes are brown. You won't find success in life being that person. You're being that person here. You're obviously bitter about something and I know damn well it has nothing to do with me.
I will not be responding to any more of your bullshit. If you choose to stay, then you will still be here. I'll check up on you in a few months.
@nonameslefttouse wrote:
I never wrote nor implied that. I have already explained to you that I am not against your audience. I am against the paradigm where a whale votes with MY MONEY to give it to you, when I personally may not be interested in your coterie. I don't know why you are taking that economic fact as a personal insult. I thought you were a smart man.
I made the point to @berniesanders as a short quip and it turned into a firestorm of discussion. It is not as though I decided to invest that much effort, rather the lack of comprehension of you two dragged me into a long explanation.
I hope you noticed that 16 others flagged your post. Since flagging is something we all do with great restraint, you can factually determine that many people agree with my assessment (many more than the 16 who went to the extreme action of flagging ... they say for every complainer, there are 100 dissatisfied who did not speak out).
Have you lost your mind? You're having a debate, with yourself. Go have a look at what you said when you first started your little whiny bitch routine.
Why... are you here... bitching... to me... about things... I do not... care... about? You are becoming my entertainment at this point kind sir.
https://steemit.com/art/@nonameslefttouse/the-freedom-speech-fucks-the-censor-again
Sit down, relax, stay awhile. Read a few things....
https://steemit.com/art/@nonameslefttouse/to-whom-it-may-concern-with-a-hint-of-everyone-else
Maybe eventually you'll find a way to bark up the right tree.
@ anonymint I thought I fired you?
What does someone voting on my work have to do with me? I didn't press that button for them. All I could do was hope this all appealed to someone. You realize far more people are for this than against this? Look around, it was a fun day. Use the votes as evidence and then say, "not valuable to most others." What are you trying to maintain?
I looked at your blog. Have you seen mine? I made all that myself. Are you trying to tell me there's no room for artists and entertainers on this platform? Are we expected to believe your grovelling is based on fact and not emotion? I'm not being this way to rub something in your face. I truly had no idea you existed.
I started all this weeks ago, from the bottom, with no help from social circles and friends. If more people like me caught wind of this place they would be ecstatic... but, if they see their people constantly getting slammed for enjoying entertainment, by trolls, this place can kiss that market goodbye. Especially when the flag button is being abused like this... ouch, a huge blemish on steemit now, look what you did. Your contribution to Steemit in this example is censorship. So what are you trying to maintain?
If people were observing from the outside world, which they are... who's personas seem more appealing right now? Technically, you're the only one whining because the other one doesn't count. We know how the internet works. We know what a troll is. We can all see you're just a touch angry or maybe had a few drinks that day.
I do know what socializing is. I do know what socialism is. I also don't want to live anywhere near your dictatorship.
In the future, please make attempts to be mature. Especially around mature humor. I do hope you've not lost sleep over this. Have a good day.
"Lack of comprehension".... I hear you loud and clear. Everyone, hears you loud and clear. Some of the things you say even make sense you know. Unfortunately, you came into my store acting like an ass. You continue to be an ass. Anything you're trying to say gets cut up with your piss poor attitude and you fall flat on your face.
Everyone, please go have a look at @anonymint 's blog. There you will see swears, naked women, and a whiny little bitch.
Please take notes. Notice how this man points his finger at me and calls me down, while completely ignoring the three pointing directly back at himself.
@anonymint ...just shut the fuck up.
@nobrainleftinthehouse wrote:
I wonder what made you think the comment section is only for sending messages to you. Must be that mischievous leprechaun perched on your ear.
@anonymint wrote
I told you, entertainment. That's what you've become. Please, keep talking. Dig that hole deeper, I don't mind! I won't fall in!
You're a class act, it shows! LOL. Why didn't you use your catch phrase "juggernaut" this time? All "juggernauted" out? Shouldn't you be off creating your juggernaut? I can't wait to see your juggernaut! People who build juggernauts spend time trolling people on steemit! Totally makes sense! LOL!
16 days ago! You've been writing your essays complete with drivel for 16 days! In the muted section of a comedy blog yet!
Juggernaut!
@nobrainleftinthehouse wrote:
...
You'll be the clueless poster boy (throwing stones at shadows) for those who thought they fired the completion of the trilogy of Mark Zuckerberg, Satoshi, and AnonyMint. Seems @theymos, @gmaxwell and some others shared your delusion.
Stay tuned...
Are you still trying to win your own argument? You history shows you like to burn bridges with people. I'm not in the business of making enemies. Your continuous outbursts of psychobabble have become burdensome. I'm not going to drop down to your level, no matter how hard you push me. You're already stooping to name calling and strawman arguments. Everyone knows what that means...
Stop talking the talk, and go walk the walk. You're wasting your time giving a shit about what I'm doing. This isn't healthy. I've seen how you act on other forums as well as here and your own blog. Everyone else can see it as well. You're not making yourself appear to be any better than any person on this planet. That is due to your actions, attitude and behavior.
I came here, without knowing anyone. Anyone can look at the statistics and see how well I'm doing as a writer, producer and entertainer. I won't feel like any less of a person if I do not succeed here. This is a paid hobby. I don't require anything more from you. Go away. If you cannot leave, look deep within yourself and ask yourself why. Find the answer. You don't need to tell me the truth, I don't care what the truth is. That's for you and only you.
Please, have a good day.
@nologicleftinthehouse babbled:
The “dog chasing his tail” inkblot is yours. It is as if you haven’t understood anything I have written, except to incorrectly perceive everything as an attack on you.
How upstanding, consistent, and non-hypocrite of you to argue for social network harmony and now insinuating that I must leave Steem(it) before you do.
Seems to have entirely flown over your head that my beef was never with you nor your activity on Steem(it), but rather with a technical design and sneaky premine that turned Steem(it) into a collectivized gridlock that monetarily binds my preferences for my Steem Power to @berniesanders’ outsized power to award the dilution taken from me (indirectly by taking it from speculators who don’t power up) and awarding it to you. The point was never that you shouldn’t be free to express yourself and even be rewarded/appreciated by your social circle, but rather that the design and ownership structure of Steem(it) combined creates a situation where @berniesanders is acting on my (and all other dolphin and minnow Steemians’) behalf.
As I said, in my superior designed system, you won’t encounter that conflict.
Yet somehow I think the point will continue to fly over your head.
I wasn’t assailing your character, but you took the discussion there because obviously you never understood that I have no problem with your creativity.
Awwww pooor baby is offended.
Grow up, this is the internet and thankfully people can say whatever the FUCK they want here.
I'm not building anything. In this case I'm voting on a post I found to be quite humorous and fortunately for me it's perfectly within my rights to do so. Have a great night!
I was having a healthy conversation with smooth ... that's not trolling
so, then why do you call it trolling?
because you're scared of your own feelings, you think that shame is a constant feelings, which is why you're so scared of it, this while shame is just a small part of a longer process; it's what makes you a better person
if you were to allow your brain to function properly by admitting your mistakes and feeling the shame; the price of SBD will start to go up again and then you get to feel good about yourself again
look at yourself now; you're not happy, you're very, very frustrated, that's why you're trying to take it out on me ... this while all I'm doing is offering the solution
if you were to put your voting slider on 1% and leave it there; people will start to return to steemit instead of leaving and the value of your shares will start to go up again
The only mistake I've made is not downvoting your bullshit comments sooner.
Nothing but copy/paste over and over again. At least understand what you're ranting about.
But you are allocating resources from the collective, or let's say your ill-gotten very large stake from the sneaky "premine". Since you've created this top-down power structure and responsibility, then your actions reflect on everyone.
Hey calm down. I am not attacking you. My point is you get what you sowed. You create a top-down morass, so thus your investment doesn't prosper. You only manage to take money from fools rather than build a juggernaut that could make everyone involved wealthy.
Perhaps you shouldn't pass up a good opportunity to invest in my blockchain project (when and if it is ever launched), because I think I understand how to create a juggernaut. Which is the really my point.
Cry me a river. You should have been around to mine like the rest of us when it launched. Don't blame us because you passed up a good opportunity. "Ill-gotten" makes you sound really butthurt when that wasn't the case. All I did was mine according to the rules. Now kindly, piss off, I will do as I please.
hahaha ... sure, because it's all my fault, right?
hahaha ... it's just funny that you actually believe that crap!
you're such a loser ... you're the most frustrated little shit on steemit
make an argument!
Arguing with you would make all of your trolling worth it.
I'm just going to continue to downvote your worthless trolling. Enjoy!
This guy has been going on and on in this comment section for three fucking weeks, and he says he's arguing with you, yet he's telling me all this shit. I'm not sure if you know about it or not. I doubt it matters. Just giving you a heads up.
My first fucking flag, thank you very much.
I think there's a place on here for humor. Not everyone will find the same things funny, and those people can use the mute button.
It's fine everyone. I said this would happen in the article. Did I push a few "limits"? Possibly. Did I do it for a good cause? I'm confident we'll be able to get past this.
@anonymint. Your "low-life" comment still bothers me. Not so much on a personal level. It's more about how you've treated those who did enjoy this article. I've taken it upon myself to do a bit of research.
They say, "When you point your finger at someone, you have three pointing straight back at yourself." I've known of this concept for a very long time. I looked at your blog. You have smut and swears mixed in with some kind of nonsensical money talk. You do not follow anyone, therefore you're not here to engage the community. You're here to simply talk your talk, walk your walk, take your money and leave. I don't need to call you names. You've shown your true colors.
For someone who acts like an expert in your field, I'm incredibly shocked to learn you do not read the fine print.
In the future, I expect you to be professional, even if you disagree with something you see. Nobody likes a person who throws a hissy fit and calls down everyone else who enjoys what you do not enjoy.
If you truly think Steemit should only be about the boring shit you talk about, this place will fail. You do not have any business sense nor do I have any reason to believe you conduct yourself in a professional manner.
I'm very disappointed in you. I think you can do better. Unfortunately, you're fired.
you're such a self righteous prick ... you keep bitching about other people's use of words, while you're being a complete prick yourself
If anyone has any issues with the way you've been treated today, I shall direct them to this conversation. What I sometimes do here is for entertainment purposes only. You are now speaking to me, the writer, producer, proprietor of Two Insanity Productions, a few other things and a very reasonable man. I've asked you to leave. If you choose not to leave, you will stay here. I'll check up on your progress on November 11, 2016. Please, have a good day.
@nonameslefttouse wrote:
You still don't seem to comprehend that the issue at hand is the system which enables super whales to allocate the resources of all of us who are invested in Steem. Thus it forces me to invested in what ever @berniesanders does because his footprints are massive compared to us minnows and dolphins. Thus the poorly designed system pits my vested interest against your microcosmic audience.
Then get the hell out if this isn't your thing!
Comedy sells out stadiums.
Comedy makes billions for the entertainment industry.
Comedians make people happy.
Comedy is the driving force for such great websites as Youtube, theCHIVE, Cracked, Break, eBaumsWorld, FunnyorDIE, Cheezburger, QuickMeme, CollegeHumor.
Would you like me to name every rich funny person now too?
Are you on glue?
Are you capable of speaking to anyone without being a passive aggressive dick?
I don't care what you think.
Stop whining.
Have a good day.