How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Marriage is very rarely a match made in heaven, and often requires much more work than many people realize they are getting themselves into. Along with the journey of parenting, marriage is truly one of the bigger challenges in our lives.

Affairs are, unfortunately, one of the biggest reasons for separation and divorce these days. That is why it is a good idea to understand what you can do today to help affair-proof your marriage in the years to come. Sometimes, an affair might have already come between you and your spouse. This does not mean that you cannot take steps to keep it from happening again.

Growth is one vital element of marriage that many people take for granted. A constant sense of growth needs to be present in any marriage. If it's not, one partner may feel like they are moving forward and their spouse is not, which often creates a wall between them. They feel as if they are worlds apart, or not on the same track as far as growth. Be sure to take time each day for growth within your relationship. Make a commitment to do one thing each day that will benefit your marriage, no matter how small it may be.  Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship if you feel you've gotten off track. 

Communication is a key in any successful relationship. If you are having problems, turn towards your partner, not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. Your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they're interested in together. Don't stop being friends just because you're each other's spouse. 

Certain things in your marriage should be guarded like a hawk. There are things that should be held in high value in a marriage, and kept sacred. 

' Time ' The way you spend your time should be guarded in respect toward your marriage and family. Where are you spending your time? Ask your partner if they need more time with you. Time with your partner should be set aside and kept in high regards. Respect the time you spend with your partner.

' Mind ' What occupies your mind? Is your spouse often present in your mind? Do you think good thoughts about them? Evaluate what is on your mind, and put your marriage in there if it's not already.

' Energy ' Where you are putting your energy, especially everyday, is important to your marriage. Where are you putting your energy? Is your energy invested in your marriage, your family, or in less important events in life? Evaluate your energy, and make sure that there is a reasonable balance between activity, work, marriage, and family.

Finally, set a Formula for Success. Your relationship has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your partner's needs are so that you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate them. Don't let resentment build.