Day 59:

I realised what the problem has been since I began this last bout of mantras. Basically, I have not been abiding in central channel -nature. I was doing that before and things went much more smoothly. This last time I was in my qiaos and in yang wei, while my Dai was constricted, and I wasn't in chong/sushumna/central channel. Since going back into chong and doing mantra from there, the crap feeling has decreased significantly. The reason is b/c of my experience with the mantra being generally challenging, i thought that maybe I can recite the mantra without being present with it. Was I wrong or what. Everything just got clogged in my already constricted Dai. I've also started pulsating some helpful Ganapti, solar, and lakshmi bijas while I do Saturn mantras. I also note that when I started Saturn mantras, I also chose to do Ganesha and Vignesha root mantras... I now realise that this was the result of intuition/grace, as these archetypes really nicely counterbalance/complement Saturn. I've resumed these mantras. Just a note: Saturn mantra is far more effective when doing it from shen consciousness rather than only chi-based. As far as I have experienced, this applies to all mantras. Shen mantra japa addresses causal consciousness, whereas chi doesn't directly do so.