Why are people ashamed to admit where they come from? This is not such an unusual attitude. Many people disguise the fact that they grew up in less favourable circumstances. I know many people who grew up dirt-poor, but they were never ashamed of their roots and neither of their upbringing.

Family of Nine

We were nine children and I was the second youngest, my youngest brother was born six years after me. This made him the sixth son. He was born at home and I remember the excitement on the evening of his birth. My father was so happy to have another son, I can't remember my mother's reaction to having six sons now, but everybody was happy. I thought my little brother was very ugly.

Large family

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With another baby in the family, we were often been made fun of at school, because we were so many children. What people did not realise, we were happy to grow up in such a large family. Sometimes it made you feel ashamed to say where you stayed, in case your classmates will know you were part of this big family. This soon passed as I realised that being part of such a big family is nothing to be ashamed of. My eldest sister was at University at that stage and two of the brothers were at college, all away from home. The second eldest sister passed away when she was six years old. Only five of us remain at home still in various grades at school.

We all followed different careers

We soon grew up and each one followed his or her own career. One brother is a Doctor of Chemistry, another one a lawyer, two became artisans, my eldest sister was a teacher, she taught English, Afrikaans and Latin. My sister older than me became a bookkeeper, my youngest brother started his career in the mines and I always wanted to be a nurse and that is what I studied for. My parents were very proud of each one of us and never forced us into something we did not want, but rather encouraged us to use our talents to the fullest. We were brought up with strong Christian values, to be humble and to care for, and about others, less privileged than we were.

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Family is Shrinking

My parents were farmers in Fouriesburg, Free State. I don't know why my father sold the family farm, I have never asked him, but nevertheless, they moved to Bethlehem, a small town not far from Fouriesburg. My brother and I were the only two who was born in Bethlehem. All the others were privileged enough to have grown up on the farm. There were difficult times, my parents could not always afford to clothe and feed all these children, and to put them through University as well. But they have always provided for their children, no matter what the circumstances. We were a very happy family and the bond between the children was very strong and still is. There is only five of us left. My mother died at the age of 63, and then my sister, who was my best friend, she was two years older than I am, died when she was 33-years-old of a tumour on the brain, my youngest brother followed and died in a mine accident when he was 38-years-old. Then a couple of years after that, my two eldest brothers died and then my father, at the age of 93-years-old.

Don't be ashamed of your roots

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Be proud of who you are

We were never ashamed of our background and made no attempt to hide it. In fact, I think we were all proud to be part of such a big family where we were privileged enough to be loved and cared for to the best of my parent's abilities.

What I am trying to say is, where you come from is a part of you. You can choose to stay there all your life and feel sorry for yourself or you can choose to move on and end up somewhere very different. Both of those options are fine, but if you try to hide your roots, you are denying a part of yourself. Sooner or later that will make you unhappy. You will regret being ashamed of your roots or you will live in fear of being found out.

Prejudice exists

We all know that prejudice exists, but anyone whose life is so empty will judge you on something you have no control over, like where you were born, this is not worth anybody's time or respect. It is as wrongheaded and prejudiced as judging you on the colour of your skin.

If your background is humble, that speaks all the more loudly of your achievements, succeeded in your own terms and against all odds. Why would you want to hide that?

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There are some places where the privileged are judged because of their background. They are too embarrassed to admit

where they come from. It would be better to acknowledge that you are from a poor background than a privileged one. But this is still a part of you and would be foolish to be ashamed of the fortune you were born into. If you are ashamed, you need to consider why. If you feel such advantage is unfair, then do something to restore the balance. Try to gain experience as to how the other less privileged are living. Do what you can to share your advantages more fairly, whether in your own small area or in some wider way. Share what you can best, such as education, a supportive family, wealth, charity or work, but do what feels right for you.

Snobs

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Don't ever allow egotistical elitists to make you feel ashamed of your lucky beginnings or your less privileged background.

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Be happy to stand up and declare your roots. Remember what your parents taught you, the opportunities they have given you, the strength you have developed to make the best of them. Be proud of them because that is part of you, this is where you come from, this is your roots.

There are two things that define you, your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.

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