@whatamidoing thank you! Writing really does save me - that, and learning how to separate my higher self from that sulky, whiny brat who surfaces here and there LOL I stopped allowing myself to use anxiety, depression (or whatever you want to call it) as a crutch and an excuse for this type of thinking. That really helped.
Thanks for that point of view on rent/steemit. You're a very wise soul! I have to remember it's all about perspective and staying hopeful!