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Many married men might relish the idea of being able to plonk down on the couch watching TV whilst their penis wandered off to the bedroom to take care of business.

The orb spider possesses a detachable palp that can do exactly that - although they watch TV in hammocks, not on couches.
The orb spider possesses a detachable palp that can do exactly that - although they watch TV in hammocks, not on couches.

Before you start sending hate mail to God for not endowing human males with this feature know this: the orb spider can only copulate twice in its life.

Why would anything willingly castrate itself? Well, it takes 20 minutes for 85% of the deposited sperm to be fully released.

When you take into consideration that female orbs have a nasty habit of eating any male callers that come a knocking, you begin to understand why the men don’t want to stick around for pillow talk.

They’re not complete rapscallions though.

A strict code of honour is adhered to that states, ‘I’ve started so I’ll finish.’

This is best demonstrated by the fact that they can continue having sex even when dead.

If the men manage to avoid being eaten they transform into ferocious eunuch warriors that guard the female against other would be conquerors.

The severed palp also serves another purpose: acting as a protective plug that prevents another male's possessed joystick from schmoozing in on the action.

It can take 7 hours for the female to remove a plug. Hopefully this knowledge won’t filter down to too many psycho girlfriends, ‘You say you love me but you’ve never castrated yourself then made love to me with your zombie cock for seven hours.’