Random Peculiar Post #4

in #blog6 years ago (edited)

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Can we travel back in time?

Me: So, Mr. Brain, you seem to know a lot of things that you won't let me access. Is there any reason why you would contain some important information for yourself?
Brain: Why do you think I would hide things from you? I always helped you in need, and now..., out of nowhere, you question my trust. Unbelievable. The only thing I keep away from you is the disturbing truth about your past.
Me: What truth? What do you mean?
Brain: I am just teasing you. There is no truth, I don't even know how I got stuck in your head. I wish I had been the brain of Elon Musk. He seems so cool.
Me: Why do I even talk to you? Except the moments I really need you, I can say you are the most worthless brain.
Brain: Eat my shorts. I am bored of all these conflicts between you and me. What do you say if I help you answer a question today. I really mean it. Just ask me.
Me: Ok, let's see....How about... "Does destiny exist?"
Brain: Yep.. It's a good question. I don't know the answer.
Me: Then, do you think destiny exists?
Brain: Absolutely. I already saw your destiny. Do you want to know what will happen to you after you turn 30?
Me: You said you don't know if destiny exists but you already now my destiny, you are full of chocolate..... I know you are lying, but let's hear you.tumblr_otrd3kG2z31rnpavmo1_1280.jpg
You will be 30 years old for one year. Your job is to make sure your female crocodiles get their money after they mate with the opposite gender and don't get beaten up. Basically you are a pimp for crocodiles. You have a strange girlfriend named Dominica. She is the leader of a drug cartel and keeps telling you that you are schizophrenic because you talk a lot with me. You bought a monkey just to teach him how to open a door to guests and say welcome. You somehow managed to do that. In addition, the monkey also knows how to train other monkeys to do that. You become a billionaire with a firm called "My Monkey" with a strange catchphrase "Monkeys are self-opening door keys". You quit your job as a crocodile pimp and start investing in a new shampoo called "The Sham". Everyone hates your shampoo, except your wife who uses it to make your .... let's just say she uses it to give you super powers. Unfortunately all these things are insignificant. You die 3 months after you go bankruptcy, murdered by Dominica who was actually an undercover agent trying to discover the secret you came across in 2020 which is jciennvuapownbfucqbsucjntrsadbbhcxzv
Me: What secret? Just tell me already.
Brain: I can't say it. Something won't let me. Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? Or at least that's what they told you. Actually it is a myth. I work 100%, you should promote me C.E.O. of your body.
Me: Did you know that surgical removal of almost half of our brains is possible with little or no effect on personality or memory? Next time you mock me with your future predictions, just make them more realistic or half of you will be dinner for my fake crocodiles.
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Mom: Come downstairs, the exchange student just arrived. Your father and me greeted her already. She is pretty bizzare. She has dreadlocks and wears a pretty dirty t-shirt that says "Crocodiles have rights too". Oh, I forgot to tell you her name. She goes by Dominica. Quickly, go meet her.

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Oh my goodness!! 😂😂

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