I see death everywhere I turn

It has a muscular well-feathered neck, and it moves its head like the pigeon.
But its bill is saber-like, killing everything that gets in front of it.
I never see its eyes noritsbeak, because it is not my time to die.
If my 18-year old did not make it safely back from Orlando, it would break her mother's heart, my heart and her sister's heart.
If my 11-year old did not survive, everyone's heart would be broken..everyone.
The end of my mother's hard, brittle life would look like Logan, O that's how that feels?
An aside: Once I have four wheel transportation again, I need another side job:
Einstein's bagels from 5-9am, so I can learn how to mix bagels.
Then I can translate that knowledge to my fresh dough facility; and I can show Sommory.
He wants be a mixer.
He has six kids.