I'm Sorry Jonathan Van Ness

You may know Jonathan Van Ness as the exciteable, pop-culture referencing star of Gay of Thrones and member of the fab 5 on the Netflix reboot of Queer Eye. I know him as "Jack" from my hometown of Quincy, Illinois.

I go pretty far back with Jack (I'll call him Jonathan from now on). He was in gymnastics with me for a while (though I was a year older and in a higher class than him most of the time) and he'd sometimes sit next to me on the bus in grade school. I remember one time he (sort of) complimented my smell as being unique, and I replied that he smelled like soap. He took it as the best compliment he'd ever received :) And he did smell like soap. He also never had his long gay-Jesus locks, but rather short hair and sometimes a bit of a curly-fro going on. I was never aware that he was gay when we were kids (although looking back it's quite obvious), but in high school he was one of a handful of openly gay students in our small, largely conservative town.

In high school, I had limited interactions with Jonathan as I believe the only class we had together was Spanish. We did discuss how awkward boners were and how tucking it into your belt was the only good solution. His personality was pretty much the same as the Jonathan that you see on TV. I did consider joining the diving team. There were only two other members, Jonathan being one of them. He wore a skimpy Speedo and I recall him giving instruction on a dive to the other guy, "Just jump, throw your penis back and tuck your knees to your chest." (paraphrasing) I was raised Christian and went to a Christian grade school. So needless to say, I was a bit homophobic. I didn't join the diving team because I didn't feel comfortable... plus I hate being cold and jumping into cold water isn't a fun time.

As Jonathan said in one of the episodes of Queer Eye, he was the first male cheerleader in our high school, and it went well... but not really. My brother (who was and his friend Miles had tried out 8 years prior but were rejected. He seemed to do basically the same moves as the female cheerleaders and not the typical strong dude standing in the back thing. So I'm sure there was lots of drama going on behind the scenes with angry parents. I do recall students and some of my friends poking fun at him while we were in the stands at basketball games. I don't recall saying anything disparaging, but I'm sure I laughed at jokes about him and certainly didn't defend him, because I still had the worldview that gays were bad people.

I've done a lot of growing as a person in the 15 years since high school and have made gay, lesbian and gender queer friends who have helped widen my perspective. I'm a pretty accepting person now, but I wish I could've been like that in high school. Jonathan, I'm sorry if myself and other students made you feel bad about yourself and caused you any pain. I never said anything bad to your face, but I'm sure I talked crap about you behind your back with other small-minded people in our town. For that, I appologize. I know you're probably over all the Midwest drama, but I just felt I needed to say it (even though you'll never read this) and apologize for myself and our town. You've always been too good for us.

And yeah... I'm a big fan now. Everything you say is hilarious and on point. I wish you the best in your career. Yaaaaas queen!