The Provision of God
Today is July 4th, 2018 which is 3 days away from my 7th month mark as a believer. In December of 2017 I was evicted from my apartment and on the 31st I moved into the room I rented from a family that I found via Craigslist. One week later I attended Upper Room Dallas with them and dedicated my life to Christ during worship. One of my prayers that I have continually lifted up during that time is asking God to increase my faith. Let me tell you to be mindful of what you pray for because if it aligns with His will, it WILL happen. In my experience, it's been terrifying but the rewards have been great. With each trial I feel like I test Him by thinking, "This is it. This is the day that God will forget about me and my life will be in shambles. I'm going to lose my car/home/job."
The devastation was real. The suicidal thoughts, despair, and desperation were excruciating because I didn't trust that my God would take care of me. All of my close friends and church family witnessed that I thought I was going to end up on the street. What I didn't realize at the time is this:
"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
and
"Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!" Luke 12:24
God is able AND willing!
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
For two months I lived with that family and my car broke down two weeks before I was due to move. I had barely $50 to my name and the repairs would have been at least $2,000 with no one on earth able or willing to help. After trying to handle this myself it, of course, resulted in disaster. Ladies, don't ever bother going to craigslist for help and maybe you already know this, but I didn't. I posted my ad on craigslist offering people money to take me to and from work each day and what did I get? A lost soul e-mailing me graphic porn, a man that proposed marriage and manhandled me who abandoned me in a storm that evening, and a sex-crazed guy with a foot-fetish who left me in the lurch. Not to mention something else that happened which is too despicable to rehash. I don't like who I am and where I go when I'm without God.
My only option was to go to Him and pray. Lo and behold, without any money to put down and credit that was in the toilet, only by God's goodness was I able to get a brand new car. That happened less than one week before my moving date and I still hadn't found a place. I ended up moving in with a friend of a friend of a friend. That wasn't a desirable situation and my roommate was into some very ungodly activities and lifestyles. A couple of months into living together, she told me that I had until the end of August to move out. Well, God wanted me out of there sooner so she changed her mind and told me I had until the end of June. PANIC!
I worried myself to tears countless times over this for no reason. God had it covered but since it wasn't visible to me yet I just couldn't believe that it was going to work out. That was me holding on to control instead of giving it to my loving Father. I have 4 cats, guys, and everyone I was contacting about possibly rooming with was allergic. People were telling me to "get rid of them"! Paying pet deposits also seemed impossible with 4 furry companions. With every landlord I contacted things just seemed more and more impossible.
I have handled my finances very irresponsibly over the years and when I gave them over to God, he stepped in and asked me to let him handle it, so I did. I had a shopping addiction (ladies especially, have you ever gone shopping because you were stressed--but then you felt more stressed because you went shopping?) and God finally shut that card down completely since I was having trouble canceling subscriptions on my own. A week before my move-out date, somebody reached out to me because God put it on their heart to give me $2,000 from their own savings to assist me in my move. That in itself is remarkable and here I am two weeks later still in shock! I had a feeling that God wanted me to live alone in this season after having one challenging roommate after another. He honored my request for alone time with Him. He did all of this, not me.
The day before my car insurance was due last month he put it on someone's heart to reach out to me and generously give. Bam--covered! Just another case of pointless worry.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34
I moved into my new apartment this week in central Dallas (my desired location--imagine that) and he had provided strong men to help me move, assist in driving a giant uHaul truck, but--oh no--what's this? My car payment was due two days ago and I was semi-freaked out because after the move I was d-r-a-i-n-e-d financially, emotionally, physically, and in every other way you can think of. Two to three weeks ago I was confessing all of my stresses over the move with my sisters in Christ and God had put it on their hearts to generously extend offerings to me which I had set it aside in my purse. This last Sunday a mostly different group of pals told me they were going to Eatzi's after church and I was welcome to come along, so I did.
I was pretty tired and not feeling all that great and was planning to just head home when one of the guys asked if he could pray for me. Then, unexpectedly (I mean, when has anything been expected lately?), he said he felt like God wanted to bless me financially so, again, people came together in the name of the Lord to help a sister out. I was shocked, pleasantly surprised, and feeling extremely grateful and blessed. The next day when my payment was due I gathered all of the money together, added it to the $404 already in my account, plus a random $45 check I had received in the mail and, guys... Let me tell you that it was enough to pay my $608 car payment with about $200 leftover for the week. BLESS BLESS BLESS!
Things are still very tight financially but my prayers to God to increase my faith have been answered over and over again.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
I hope my testimonies bless and encourage you! Thanks for reading. :)