6 Ways to Have Better Conversations (Using Active Listening)不会聊天，总是冷场？你可能只是没学会积极倾听！

交谈是一项技能，也是一门艺术。积极聆听则是提高谈话质量的重要一环，那么如何“听”，才能让自己看起来是个会“唠嗑”的认真主儿呢？不妨试试以下几个简单小技巧哦~

Listening is one of the most important social skills to build better connections with others. Still, many of us struggle to pay attention during a conversation by overthinking or waiting for the chance to speak. Genuine listening has become a rare quality in people and those who develop this skill can build richer relationships, develop a deeper understanding of others, become better at resolving conflicts, and communicate more effectively with friends, family, and coworkers. A few key habits will help make a bigger impact in a conversation by becoming an active listener.

聆听是与他人建立良好关系最重要的社交技能之一。然而在谈话过程中，许多人因为思考过多或一直伺机开口，总是很难集中注意力听别人讲话。认真聆听已经成为了人们身上一个难得的品质，而做到这一点的人不但能够建立起丰富多样的社交关系，加深对他人的了解，还更擅长解决冲突，实现与朋友、家人和同事的高效沟通。有关积极聆听有几个重要习惯，可以对谈话产生更大的影响。

1.STAY PRESENT

1. 关注当下

Active listening starts with a conscious effort to focus on what the other person says in a conversation. That means actually following what the other person has to say rather than queuing up what you want to say next and waiting for the chance to speak. Intentionally listen to the person before responding. Then make sure to add to the conversation rather than just repeating or rephrasing what the other person has already said.

积极聆听的首个要点就是在谈话中有意识地重点关注对方所说的话。也就是去聆听对方必须要说的话，而不是一门心思琢磨着自己想说的话，伺机开口。在对别人的话作出回应前，要全神聆听，确保所说的话有新的内容，而不仅仅是原句或原意重复对方的话。

1. USE BODY LANGUAGE
2. 使用肢体语言

People can tell if you are listening to them through certain gestures such as eye contact or a simple nod of the head. You can also turn your ear in towards the person to hear the person better. This gives people a better indication that you are listening to the person without speaking over them and interrupting.

通过眼神交流或简单的点头等特定动作，人们就可以判断出你是否在听他们讲话。你也可以把耳朵朝向他们，以更好地聆听。这是一种极佳的暗示，告诉人们你正在聆听，没有谈论他们，干扰讲话。

1. SHOW INTEREST IN THE OTHER PERSON
2. 对讲话人表现出兴趣

To be interesting, you must be interested. Instead of approaching a conversation looking for the opportunity to show off or talk about yourself, go into it with a genuine interest in what the other person has to say. Which leads to the next point.

要想使谈话有趣，你必须要对谈话感兴趣。在加入一场谈话时，不要抱有寻找机会炫耀，或是把交谈话题都转移到自己身上的目的，而要真正对讲话内容感兴趣。这一点和下一个积极聆听的要点紧密相关。

1. ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS
2. 询问开放式的问题

Open ended questions open a gateway to learning about another person and enhancing a conversation. For example, rather than asking yes or no questions like “Do you like to travel?”, instead ask, “What do you love about traveling?” Using open-ended questions gives the other person the opportunity to open up about themselves.

询问开放式的问题是了解另一个人，提高谈话质量的方法。比如，与其问“你喜欢旅行吗”这类简单的“是或否”的问题，不如问“关于旅行你喜欢些什么”。问些开放式的问题，让对方有机会敞开心扉。

That also means responding in a way that shows you have heard what the other person has said. Using vague expressions like “yeah”, “interesting”, “nice”, or “great” gives the impression that you are not actually paying attention. After asking an open ended question, listen to the response before following up with a statement that relates back to what the person has said.

询问开放式的问题也表明你在关注别人讲的话。“对”、“有趣”、“很好”、“太棒了”之类的模糊回应会给人一种你并没有认真聆听的感觉。在询问了开放式问题后，先认真听对方的回答，再将谈话内容转回到之前的话题上去。

1. PAY ATTENTION TO EMOTIONS
2. 关注讲话人的情感

Empathizing allows someone to connect more emotionally with other people and helps you to relate to that person's experiences. Beyond listening to the words that the person says, pay attention to the emotions behind those words.

谈话中的共鸣会增进交谈各方之间的情感沟通，帮助了解对方的经历。交谈中不仅要聆听对方的话，还要关注话语背后的情感。

Often times, people reveal their emotions through body language and vocal tonality. Paying attention to these nonverbal cues will help to understand the point behind what someone says. Their voice may rise at the end of a sentence if they feel unsure of themselves or perhaps they will lower their voice out of fear of sharing and showing vulnerability. People may also express emotions through their facial expressions and gestures when speaking.

许多时候，通过观察肢体语言和语调可以发觉讲话人的情感。注意这些非言语线索有助于理解话语背后的涵义。如果讲话人在话尾音调上扬，这可能说明他们缺乏自信；如果讲话人降低音调，则可能是因为害怕说出自己的想法，暴露弱点。此外，说话时的面部表情和动作也能透露出讲话人的情感。

1. RELATE EMOTIONALLY
2. 形成情感共鸣

Reading the emotions behind what a person says, you can respond by sharing moments in life where you have felt similar emotions. A logical connection involves finding common interests between people. However, an emotional connection means sharing times in which we have felt the same way. You can build stronger emotional connections by relating back to someone and sharing feelings.

在解读出话语背后的情感之后，你可以与讲话人分享生活中那些感同身受的时刻。在建立逻辑关系时，人们往往会找到相同的兴趣点；而在建立情感关系时，则需要我们分享产生共鸣的时刻。你可以通过联想某个有相同体会的人，并与讲话人分享感受来增强情感关系。

Developing social skills like active listening doesn't happen overnight. However, with a bit of practice, you can improve listening skills, leading to deeper, more meaningful connections with others.

培养积极聆听之类的社交技能不可能一蹴而就，但通过一些练习，你可以提高自己聆听技能，从而与他人建立起更深入、更有意义的联系。