Memoirs of Growing up in China - A Story About My Mother Being Home Only Once a Week // 中国回忆录--关于我妈妈每周只有一天在家的故事

Hi, Steemit Friends: I would like to continue my stories of growing up in China. I hope you like the following post.

Steemit的朋友们，你们好！我将在此继续与大家分享我在中国的成长故事，希望大家喜欢下面我要讲的故事。

"Little white bunnies, how sweet you are. Please open the door. Open the door quickly so I can come in." （wolf singing) "No, No, we won't open the door, because our mother is not home. We won't open the door for anybody." (little bunnies answering) This has been my favorite Chinese traditional children's song for years. The images of the sweet and innocent bunnies staying inside their home without their mother touched my young and tender heart. During my childhood years, my mother could only come home once a week. One month after I was born, my mother had to go back to work. Her work unit, East Wind Canal Management Bureau, a branch government agency under Sichuan Irrigation Bureau, was located at the northern suburb of Chengdu, far away from our home. It was so far that she had to take two bus transfers one way to get to work. At that time, government workers only took Sundays off. My mother would come home every Saturday afternoon or evening and leave home early in the morning on Mondays to go to work. She lived in the dormitory at her work unit during the week.

"小白兔乖乖，把门呀开开, 快快开门， 我要进来” （狼在门外唱）“不开， 不开，就不开， 妈妈没回来，谁来也不开” （小白兔在屋内回答）。这是我多年来最喜欢的中国传统儿歌歌谣。几只单纯可爱的小白兔独自呆在没有妈妈的屋子里的画面深深地打动了我幼小的心灵。在我童年时光里，我的妈妈只能每周回家一次。我出生一个月后，我妈妈就回到了她的工作岗位。她的工作单位，四川省水利厅下属的东风渠管理局，位于成都北郊外，离我们家非常远。她乘公共汽车去上班，途中要转两次站。当时政府工作人员每周是周日休假一天。我妈妈每周六下午或晚上回家，周一一大早就离开家。她周日六天都住在单位的宿舍里。

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A photo of my parents right after they got married in the early 1950s. They were posing in front of a government building with Chinese characters which stated “The Proletarians of The World Unite!”
这是我父母1950年初刚结婚时的照片，他们站在一栋政府大楼前。大楼最前上方的标语写道：“全世界无产者联合起来！”

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After struggling with extremely crowded buses and often came home with bruises from aggressive bus riders, my mother would come home angry and depressed. She blamed my father for her hardship. Before I was born, after the disorganization of her former work unit, my mother had an opportunity to work at the Agricultural Land and Irrigation Management Bureau where my father worked. When her dossier reached the human resource department, the director of the department, a woman who was a friend of both my parents, asked my father which department she should assign my mother to work in. My father, who was a director at the administration office, disagreed with my mother's job assignment. Instead, he suggested that my mother should work at the East Wind Canal Management Bureau, a lower level work unit. My father’s reason was that couples should not work in the same work unit in order to avoid conflict of interest. He was only concerned about his career and showed no consideration to his own family. As a Communist party member, any gesture of denying personal or family needs was expected and complete devotion to the Party was encouraged. As a result, my mother started working at the East Wind Canal Management Bureau three years before I was born and she remained working there for many years until I was in high school. By the time my father realized what a hardship my mother as well as the whole family had to endure because of the long and difficult commute, it was too late. He was later transferred to work at Southwest Bureau, and he no longer had the authority nor resource to change my mother's job assignment. My father’s interference with my mother’s work assignment was the core source of my parents’ troublesome marriage in the years to come. It has also changed my whole childhood.

我妈妈当年乘坐的公共汽车非常拥挤，遇到莽撞的挤车人群她经常回家皮肤上青一块的紫一块。因此回家后总是发脾气，情绪很沮丧。她把自己的不幸归罪于我爸爸。在我出生前，当我妈妈以前的工作单位解体后，她有机会去当时我爸爸所在的单位农田水利管理局工作。当她的档案被调到人事处的时候, 当时人事处的主任是我爸爸妈妈的朋友，她去我爸爸那里征求意见，想了解把我妈妈安排在那个部门比较好。我爸爸当时是行政主任。他表示说他不同意我妈妈去农田水利管理局工作。他建议我妈妈去东风渠管理局，一个级别更低的下属单位工作。我爸爸的理由是两口子在一个单位工作影响不好。会有利益上的冲突。我爸爸当时只为自己的仕途着想，完全不考虑自己的家庭。作为一个共产党员 ，一切牺牲家庭需求的举动都是理所当然的，全心全意忠诚党的行为是得到鼓励的。结果，我妈妈在我出生三年前就开始在东风渠管理局工作，并且在这个单位工作了许多年，一直到我上高中时她才离开。当我爸爸意识到他的这一决定对我妈妈和全家人造成了多么大的痛苦时，已经太晚了。他不久被调到西南局工作，对我妈妈的人事调动已经没有发言权和其他办法。我爸爸在我妈妈工作调动上所做的干预是他们多年来不和谐婚姻的主要原因。它也改变了我的整个童年生活。

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A photo of my mother in 1950s.
我妈妈1950年期间的留影

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When my mother went back to work after I was born, my parents hired a nanny to take care of me. From age one to age three, I had several different nannies. They were all middle-aged or older women and they didn't seem to last very long. I was told by my parents later that I was the most quiet, patient and passive toddler they had ever seen. One of the nannies would just put me on the potty for a very long time to avoid changing diapers and I would just sit on the potty without making a sound. I would sit there for so long that a deep red circle of indentation would form on my little bottom before I was picked up again.

我妈妈回到工作岗位上后，我父母为我找了一个保姆来家照顾我。从一岁到三岁期间，他们为我换了好几个保姆，她们都是中，老年妇女，但好像都不能长留。我父母后来告诉我说他们从来没有见过像我这样安静，有耐心和被动的小孩子。其中一个保姆为了回避换尿片常把我长时间地放在痰盂上。我就坐在痰盂上一声不吭，一直坐到我的小屁股上坐出一道深深的红圈印。

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A photo of my mother with my oldest sister in 1956
我妈妈1956年和我大姐的合影

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My earliest memory went back to the time when I was about three. I was playing at the stair-way next to my home. A neighbor who was my father's colleague approached me and said: "San Mei, are you a girl or a boy?" I answered: "I am a girl." He laughed and said: "If you are a girl, why are you shaved like a little boy?" I did not know how to answer him. It was true, I was shaved completely bald by my mother one week before. My mother came home on Saturday afternoon from work. She knew something was terribly wrong with me when she looked at me: my eyes sank deeply in and looked listless; there was no strength on my neck and my head was just hanging. My mother held me and looked at me closely. What she saw shocked her because my head and my whole body was completely covered with lice. She took off my clothes and boiled them in hot water and she shaved my head. My mother fired the neglectful nanny right away and managed to find a nanny who was kind to me later. My new nanny was Grandma Yi (Yi Po Po), a childless widow in her late fifties from the country. Yi Po Po had bound feet. I had Yi Po Po as my nanny for two to three years and I was emotionally attached to her. Later Yi Po Po went to work for another family who just had a new born and this family lived in the same courtyard as our family so Yi Po Po was available to me emotionally when I needed her.

我最早的记忆是回到我快满三岁的时候。当时我在家附近的楼梯旁玩耍，我们家的邻居，也是我爸爸的同事向我走过来，他问我：“三妹，你是一个女孩子还是一个男孩子？” 我回答说：“我是一个女孩子。” 他笑着说：“如果你是一个女孩子，那你为什么像男孩子一样是光头呢？” 我不知道如何回答他。是的，这是真的。我妈妈在一星期前把我的头剃得光光的。她星期六回家，第一眼看到我就知道我不对劲。我的双眼深陷无神，脖子无力，头向下坠，我妈妈把我抱起来仔细看我，她非常惊讶地看到我整个头和全身都爬满的虱子。她很快把我脱光，把衣服放进锅里煮开。她还用推子剃掉了我所有的头发。我妈妈马上解雇了那位极不负责的保姆。后来妈妈为我找到一个善良的对我好的保姆。她叫易婆婆。易婆婆是一个五十几岁没有子女的寡妇。她来自农村，有一双裹脚。易婆婆照顾了我两，三年，我在情感上很依恋她。后来她离开我去另外一家刚生孩子的家庭当保姆，因为这家人和我们住在同一个院子，所以，我需要易婆婆时可以随时去找她。

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A photo of me with my father, two sisters and Yi Po Po when I was three
我三岁时和爸爸，两个姐姐，易婆婆的留影

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Although my mother could only come home once a week while I was a little child, I am grateful that she helped me open the door of our home to a kind-hearted woman like Yi Po Po to take care of me. Because of this, I had a steady and loving caregiver I was attached to.

虽然在我小时候我妈妈只能每周回家一次，但我很感激她帮我为一个心地善良的易婆婆打开了我们的家门，我也因此有了一个可以亲近和依赖的保姆。

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