If your life depended on what you choose today...

How are you, my dear friends?
I am @mamun123456. I feel really good to be able to participate in today's competition. Because the questions that are put here are not just for answering—they are also for taking a moment to look inside yourself. So I thought I would share some of my own thoughts with you.

Sometimes at night, before going to bed, when I stand in front of the mirror, I look at myself. Then I have a strange feeling—is this person really me? Or have I drifted away by the pull of time and come to a place that I never decided for myself?

Today's questions have taken me to exactly that place—forced me to go deep inside myself and think.

1. What would I change today if I gambled my life?

Honestly, if everything depended on a decision I made today, the first thing I would want to change is my habit of not being able to say “no.”
Many times, I give up my own desires, my own time—everything just because I don't want to hurt someone. Later, I realised that I was actually belittling myself by doing this. If today were a very important moment, I would have put myself first. I wanted to at least instil in myself that it is not wrong to stand up for yourself.

2. Are I still carrying the consequences of unthinking decisions?

Looking back, I see that I have moved forward in life with hasty decisions for a long time. Especially at the beginning of my career. At that time, it seemed that I had to go in the same direction as everyone else. I didn't think much about what my heart wanted. Now sometimes I think—if I had stopped a little, given myself a little time, maybe the story could have been different. The place I stand today is largely the result of those unthoughtful decisions.

3. What is it that I am silently enduring even though I am suffering inside?

The hardest thing is those negative words inside me. A voice in my mind always says—“You can't do it”, “You are behind”… Comparing yourself to others, doubting yourself—these things gradually break you from the inside. I know it's not right, but I still can't get out of it sometimes. But at least now I understand—this place needs to be fixed.

4. What small habit is quietly building me up?

At the end of the day, no matter how busy I am, I spend some time alone. I sit quietly and talk to myself for a while.

Even though this time seems very ordinary, it is very important to me. Because it is during this time that I understand how the day went, where I went wrong, and how I can be a little better. Maybe this small habit is gradually making me stronger.

5. If today were really the last day, would I be satisfied?

Thinking about this question makes my chest feel a little heavy. To be honest, no—I couldn't be completely satisfied. Many things still seem to be left. There are some dreams, some things, some people—with whom I want to spend more time. But one thing might give me peace—even though it is at the last moment, I have understood what I really want.

Life is actually a journey where there is very little opportunity to go back and start over.
So maybe it is necessary to decide a little bit every day—where I want to go, what I want to be.

These thoughts today may not be very big, but I know—they will change me little by little one day.

Finally, I am inviting three of my friends to participate in this competition:
@ruthjoe @bossj23 @ngoenyi @sahmie @ninapenda