Don’t Be This Guy...
From time to time in life...we all come across THAT guy. You know who I’m talking about. When you are at the urinel...draining the main vein. There 12 of these piss buckets and all but one are empty. Yours. Suddenly Fuckface McGillicuddy stumbles up to the stall to the left, whips out what is most likely a truly disappointing dick, and starts his squirt while starting small talk about the weather or some stupid shit. The only conversation I want to hear leaving that clueless bag of shit’s crusty dry ass mouth is him telling me he has terminal cancer. Nothing. Else. At. All.
Don’t be that guy.
Well, that guy is cloned. There are literally millions of Fuckface McGillicuddy’s across the globe and his brethren roam the lands...looking for people to irritate on a minute by minute basis. Take this fucknugget for instance....
Back in July, this dude preordered one of our Exclusive Ninja Turtles Variant covers. This is the book!
Well...the book was released on August 28th and my partner and I proceeded to ship out hundreds of packages all over the globe to eager collectors. This isn’t our first rodeo either. We’ve done several exclusives and have shipped out thousands of comics and packages throughout the years. Literally...thousands.
At this point now it’s safe to say we kinda know what we are doing and how to ship. Regardless, there are always a handful of damages each time we do an exclusive. It’s just how it goes. A package gets crushed in Denver. A postal clerk plays frisbee with one in St. Louis. One gets lost along the way to some dude in Philly. It’s just how it goes and we always take care of folks when they report and show proof of the damaged book.
Enter Mikael...
This is a message we get through PayPal when he alerts us that...well...he was unhappy...
Okay...He an insulting asshole right off the bat...but I’ll bite. My reply 4 1/2 hours after his lovely letter...
I feel I addressed the issue properly and politely. I’d love to tell Mikael to eat a bag of dicks...but I resist this temptation and just politely ask for photos while apologizing for the condition the book arrived in before proceeding.
So I wait...and I wait...it seems days have gone by. Oh...they have. Has Mikael forsaken me?!? Why...oh why sweet Mikael?!? Maybe a little nudge will do. So I send him a reminder.
Once again...I’m chasing this dude to make shit right. I fucking hate that. Well at least he sent me a quick and completely sane response...
Seems completely reasonable. Right?!? When I order something that comes in damaged, I go into a hulk-like rage and incinerate it while cursing at God himself. Then I go and demand a refund while providing zero proof to the shipper that said item was destroyed. Oh, I also blame the shipper for the condition said item arrived in as well. All...completely normal and rational ways to act.
In all honesty, I am still trying to form how I’m going to respond to my angry drunk Russian friend here. At this point now, Mikael can tonguepunch my fartbox. I would have gladly sent him out a replacement or even refunded his money. But I do require proof of the damaged item a customer wants me to replace or refund. Sorry but in this business, there are tons of scumbags out there looking for some free product. Happens fairly often when you deal with this many collectors.
We just had a bad episode involving a $2000 Funko Pop that I’ll tell ya about in a separate write up later this week. It’s common is what I’m trying to say.
If this guy really got his book smashed and crushed, then I’m sorry...but to throw the item out in a rage seemed completely short sighted and I’m betting is not the last dumb mistake this doucher will make this week. But more than likely, the book arrived fine and he just wanted to see if he could get his $20 bucks back while keeping the book. That’s where I’m putting my money. I’m going to guess PayPal will and should side with us on this as there is zero proof provided not an item to send back according to this upstanding citizen.
I’m also going to bet the value of his refund that he will no longer be receiving which is $20, that this angry waste of oxygen beats his wife while downing cheap corner store Vodka by the jug. Just a hunch.
Please...Don’t be like Mikael....
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! What a stupid wanker!
You know what I learnt in my 11 years as a retail business owner... some customers are simply not worth having!
Lol. Yup. A wanker indeed. That’s the tough part of selling online. You just don’t know if it’s going to derail until its too late. When I see a doucher acting’s like a doucher in the shop I can boot him out. When it’s online...that’s a whole new can of works that usually involves chargebacks, negative feedbacks, bad reviews. Argh!!!!
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I can relate. 99% of our design and print orders were done via email - so the same level of doucher applies...
haha :D
This is awesome
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Lol. Thx brother.
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Wife and I sell kids books mail order and maybe ship 20 to 30 packages a week out.....to be fair we get barely any issues like this but the big problem we have are sales through Lazada (Asian Amazon) who order Cash on Delivery....
Typically, a couple of days ago we get $200 USD order COD...it's got 'trouble' written all over it. After 4 failed attempts to deliver by the PO and no response to phone calls, it gets sent back to us and after a week whizzing around the Postal system it's some what battered then the customer gives us a shitty review saying we didn't deliver without pointing out they weren't in 4 days in a row or they hadn't actually paid for said goods.
At this point the wife is apoplectic so answers said review by posting copies of the failed delivery screens and calling the customer a lying buffalo (incredibly ride in Thai, funny as fuck on English!).
Thais don't do customer service generally speaking but the wife takes it to a whole new level.
#customersarenotalwaysright
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Loloool. Yeah. Isn’t that ridiculous?!? We e had people give us a negative on eBay or complain and give us all kinds of shit for not receiving their package...even they provided the wrong address.
“Oh...that was my old address.it wasn’t supposed to go there. I have to pay shipping again?!?”
“Uhhhhhhh...yeah you dunce! You gave me a wrong address and it went out and came back. I’m not paying to ship this out on my dime because you are a moron!”
Of course I don’t say that...just think it.
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Let us know if PayPal screws you.
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Yeah I’ll update once this is done.
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I too have one of those whackos on ebay now. He bought a sealed new book and said it arrived as the worst new book condition he's ever seen, where the book "got damaged during shipment" and the spine was uneven. He'd emailed me 2 months before he bought the book asking all of these anal questions, and I told him that my book wasn't the right one for him -- just to deter him from buying it. Alas, he randomly bought it 2 months later and then did the same type of nonsense. The book magically became damaged after I asked him to send pics, when it wasn't part of his initial return request. We settled on a partial refund for him to keep it, which I think was a partial admission of guilt on his part when I alluded to it. He also said he wanted to put it in the trash. These bullshit artists! They want mint perfection and if they don't get it, freak the F out and cause a ruckus/even mess with the product to make sure they get their way with the payment processor.
Lol. Yup! We get those assholes too. I kinda like when I can sense the problem in them before they buy. I just tell them basically the same thing. If on eBay I’ll block em before they get the chance to buy.
These folks are the worst. Ugh.
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Well i think you already know what this sounds like. Imagine trying to return an item to Tesco but you only have the receipt. not only do you not have the item but you also have no proof of its existence at all.
This just seems like those people the threaten a bad Yelp review if they aren't given something for free.
I wouldn't refund it.
Lol. Exactly. I’m baffled that he thinks this tactic is reasonable and acceptable. I just hope PayPal agrees that he’s batshit insane.
Oh I’m not refunding. The only way he gets his moolah back is if PayPal screws me over and gives it back.
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There's always someone trying it on. For $20 is it even worth it? I'm glad I don't work in retail.
It’s amazing. We had someone the other day drive back after popping in earlier. They insisted we overcharged them for $2. We didn’t. We went through and reviewed his purchase twice with him watching. He still kept on about the $2 friggin dollars. We broke down the (basic) math and finally he agreed but Never apologized. Just kinda gave me attitude that he drove all the way back to the store to fix the mistake. I almost asked where he drove from but then realized I didn’t care. I’m going to hope it was from a far off magical land where white trash hillbillies cannot add simple numbers.
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Ha love the guy throwing it away in anger. Great excuse. Sounds like a winner.
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Completely normal behavior. Lol
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May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his nutsack, and his arms be too short to scratch!!!
I absolutely love this and will be stealing it for a future comment. Lol
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