Ghosted II: When Love Crossed Boundaries
Dad, did you know he mentioned he would love me to get pregnant for him before marriage. She told her dad with quivering voice. Well, you know you can’t do that. You can offer to do a fertility test if he wants her dad answered with utmost tenderness. She doesn’t know how he happens to maintain so much calm even in the most bizarre situations and she has grown so fond of him. Her dad was her confidant. She could tell him anything. On this particular relationship, he’s been so helpful offering advice and encouragement whenever it’s needed.
When the getting pregnant talks seem to have mellowed a little, then came another hurdle. Well, we have to get to know each other intimately before marriage he blurted out again. And why is that she asked? Do you go to a supermarket and ask to taste the milk you want to buy before buying it? She reiterated. Well when you go to the market to buy Garri, you taste it he said. That’s so absurd. We are going to have all the sex you desire but at the right time.
When is the right time? He queried. When we get married. Meanwhile would you mind sharing your life vision with me, she was trying to know him more and know what he likes and what makes him tick. I will share that at the right time not now. Okay, take your time she said not trying to sound pushy.
Days turned into weeks and weeks into two months but something wasn’t adding up. She kept having some concerns about the lack of passion she senses from him. How do you love someone and yet there’s no passion to care and know about the persons feelings and day to day life. He never really asks about her personal affairs. What he knows about her work and family is what she tells him. He never really probed.
She would ask about his work, family and scared about friend his day to day living but got non in return. I feel like you don’t really care about me. She said one day. I know what you want to talk about he said, let’s leave it for another day. Perplexed she withdrew while all the while he kept saying she was being too inquisitive. He never cared to know about her personal feelings and situations and when she cared to know about his, it was deemed inquisitiveness.
Amidst all these lack of deep touch was the constant talk about how he wants to sleep with her before marriage. Ohhh, I wish you can give me good sex he would quip day after day whenever he has a tiring day at work and to which she would reply at the right time and yes he would always come back with “when is this right time?
At a point it seems he was more interested in the sex than in the person. She was trying to be understanding and learn this mystery guy. Sometimes he goes silent and won’t respond to her text and blame the distance on what he’s going through. He seems he needed to be pushed to achieve certain things for himself. He had blown some real Estate opportunities that would have benefited them and coupled with the so many spiritual and foundation issues he had to deal with plus the lingering issues from his previous marriage.
I am willing to stand by you to fight these if you are willing too. She loved him enough to not walk out when challenges seemed too obvious to be ignored. But how can you be more serious about tackling serious life issues than the person who is in it himself. She was disturbed and ofcourse shared her dreads with her father who in his peaceful manner made her feel she had no challenges but she’s her to always pray and believe the good out of every situation.
He acted unperturbed while she wondered what kind of man he is. Then came another round of sex before marriage pressure talks from him. A little pissed she told him that if he wanted sex, he could get it from any girl he wants but for her, he would have to pay her bride price before sleeping with her. Get out with your Breast and butt he fired back. Yea, leave them for me she said jokingly.
That may have led to the withdrawal that has been looking for a legal ground to set in. She stood her ground but how long will this relationship stand. Maybe that was the night the damage was done or was she too inlove and hoping for the best that she didn’t know that a damage has been done.
(To be continued)