The Crypto Idiot and The Secret Recipe to Become Even Dumber in a Hurry

This is the prologue to a series of articles involving an Idiot trader, a silly challenge and a lot of nonsense displayed for your entertainment only. To see the background to the totally unwarranted display of stupidity that follows, please refer to the previous two articles here and here.

Enjoy the reading.

Hey, I like this quoting stuff, can I keep writing on it?

Ok, ok, I'll stop now, I promise.

First round: an Idiot with a lot of free time and a penchant for wordy explanations and subheaders that are entirely too long. Definitely too long.

The last three days have been a rollercoaster. I always knew research is hard work but this has been, without the slightest hint of a doubt, the most profound and sincere homage to what I can only describe as an incredible, irrefutable and most of the time, total clusterfuck of a maze of information.

No wonder Big Data jobs pay the insane amounts they do.

From white papers that frankly don't even cut it as toilet paper (I'm not about to wipe my rear with my monitor, mind you) to entire subreddits full of nothing (that I still had to go through in the name of science) to an array of twits from everyone from Charlie Lee to the lady that cleans the toilets at none other than Satoshi Nakamoto's mansion in the Bahamas, it has been an enlightening journey for sure.

It all has taken me to one and one conclusion only. Are you ready for th eonly piece of wisdom you will ever get from yours truly? here goes. To quote the great philosopher:

It doesn't matter what you think!

The Rock @ Monday Night Raw

Now take a moment to digest that one nugget of wisdom, my biggest accomplishment to date at the grand old age of forty one. Not even my draw against chess Grand Master Vesselin Topalov compares (probably because I was twelve, he was playing another hundred people and he just wanted to get the hell out of the place but hey, many people lost in twenty moves).

Technical analysis, fundamentals, news, festive events, blood orgies organized by renegade Illuminati, manipulation from Wall Street, manipulation from the whales, manipulation from silly Telegram and Discord pump and dump groups, manipulation from governments, manipulation from the media, manipulation from hackers, manipulation from... see a pattern?

Everyone is doing their bit to take advantage of everybody else. In the mean time I'm trying to trade my way to my well deserved Volkswagen Polo (Lambo is not even a concept in my mind), trying to read papers, follow teams, gather sentiment from news outlets. How on earth am I supposed to compete? how are YOU going to compete?

You will compete by doing a careful selection of the best projects and hold long term (oh my, did I say hold? I meant HODL, of course).

Not me.

I am not just a standard idiot. I am The Crypto Idiot. I have a reputation to uphold.

So, of the very many not good strategies available to the uninitiated, I'm going full bingo!

Round two: because, why not?

Over the last few days I have been collecting screenshots of Cryptopia's movers and shakers, trying to look for something remotely resembling a pattern to know where to put my money on. In the process I discovered I am not good at this stuff. If you find something I cannot find feel free to point it out. I probably won't see it even then but you will sleep better knowing you tried.

So let's go with some screenshots:

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You can see negative percentage change on the left and volume on the right ( I've tried for aout twenty minutes to do it in Markdown. In case you haven't been following this far, I'm an idiot).

I don't know if you can see a pattern or not. I certainly can't. I even tried twice again same day (January 28th). so that one above is in the morning and the two following sets are lunch time and around dinner time:

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for this second set I tried checking on less volume than main column to see if there was a pattern somewhere. For all you care it could be looking at me right in the face and I still would not have seen it. It's like looking for Waldo for me...

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...and this last set I don't even remember the criteria (I'm not getting any younger, you see?)

Now I have a lot more screenshots from the following days. I may as well have pictures of UFOs or Aramaic writings. Makes no sense to me. Which is why I'm going full Lotto on the whole damned thing. I managed to gather an insight or two (like not getting into a recently pumped coin or one in the middle of a downtrend) but not much else.

There seems to be no correlation between good or bad project, active or dead coin ( I saw chess coin pumped recently and after investigating it I discovered the project is pretty much abandoned) or big or small market cap or daily volume, anything goes really.

My first impulse was to just buy everything on one satoshi, because it cannot go down anymore than that right? I'm still feeling the consequences of that one in my portfolio, as seen by the next screenshot:

I will write a proper essay about why not to buy one satoshi coins without doing some research first another day.

Round three: the starting point

So for full disclosure I'm going to show my full holdings on this account so everyone knows how this starts:

The nine and a half DOGE was courtesy of some drunk guy on chat, for which I am forever grateful. The ETN holding is the reason I have this account in the first place. The PAC, I guess I should find out how to go about that coin swap (It's all a lot of work from what I hear).

The line that matters for this challenge is the BTC one. A million satoshi. That is what I'm going to gamble away in hopes of becoming the dumbest maverick in the history of Crypto. If I fail (likely) you will have at least enjoyed my suffering,

but if I succeed...

I will have proven that most of your "knowledge" is worth nothing and even a blind monkey can make money in Crypto. I'm going to set the target at a hundred million satoshi; a full Bitcoin. T>he rules I will make up as I go along because at this stage it's too late to even bother.

My next post will be the posting of said "bets" and then we can discuss how I have picked the coins.

See you tomorrow.

P.S: I'm a spelling and grammar maniac. I hate making mistakes. I'm also bad at typing and English is not my first language so all corrections are welcome (even in fierce tone) but hurry up, only one week to modify the darned thing.