Crypto value?

So somebody tell me why crypto is worth anything? It has no intrinsic value. No more value than the dirt in my back yard has intrinsic value. How does digits in a computer have value? A algorithm, a ledger. It's only value is perceived value.
Oh wait your gonna tell me because it's mined(created) and uses energy to produce and that's where it's value arrives. Well me digging a hole in my backyard also uses energy but that don't make the dirt coming out of the hole valuable.
I'm very sceptical of it for several reasons.

1. It's creator conveniently disappears but apparently holds a million or so coins, never telling a soul. Such as family, friends, co-workers. Never Cash's in any coins. That alone sends up red flags to me.
2. What a coincidence it appeared right at the financial collapse.
3. And this should really alarm people you now have the Rockefellers, Rothschilds, Soros, Goldman Sachs jumping in.
4. Only a handful of places except it as payment. And none of those are in my town. The way I see it is somebody buys it so they can sell it to the next sucker that comes along for a higher price. Right now that's all it's good for.
   What I see is a new currency that is being introduced to replace Fiat( which also has no value like dirt) but hey they sold the world on it so why not sell them on digits in a computer. After all most of y'all are already using digits in a computer for money with plastic. And what has that done but allow them to print trillions of dollars without printing anything. Causing massive inflation in assets. At least I could use cash to wipe my ass. What can I do with plastic or digits in a computer. Y'all are all like mice going for the cheese, and falling right in the trap. Bitcoin is a test ( well marketed) to see if they could get the public to accept it. All these coins will be outlawed and the fedcoin will be introduced. I've commented before about it well the fed is now actually considering it. Think I'm joking look it up. It never sees to amaze me how naive people are. The world has gone insane they don't even know what money is. It's not debt(Fiat) and it's not a digital ledger(crypto).
   Money it must have intrinsic value separate from any outside object and contained in the money itself. And neither Cryptos or Fiat fits that description.
   Alright let's here your hope and prayer of why I'm wrong. Time will prove me right. The dollar and banks died 10 years ago. It's just voodoo economics keeping it alive.
   Gold is the only real money. Why do you think central banks hold it. Gold is the ultimate asset.
   Here is a list of central banks own words about gold.
   the “war chest” argument – gold is seen as the ultimate asset to hold in an emergency and in the past has often appreciated in value in times of financial instability or uncertainty;
   the ultimate store of value, inflation hedge and medium of exchanges – gold has traditionally kept its value against inflation and has always been accepted as a medium of exchange between countries;
   no default risk – gold is “nobody’s liability” and so cannot be frozen, repudiated or defaulted on.
   Unlike other asset types, gold has no solvency risk attached, because it is not “issued” by an authority (such as a government or a central bank).“
   Security. Gold is a real asset and bears no counterparty or credit risk. In times of uncertainty, gold is considered a safe-haven asset.
   Gold has an intrinsic value and as a result it is nobody’s liability. As a unique asset class, it is not influenced by a country’s economic policy and outlook
   Gold has the ability of instant liquidation in case of emergency.