Joy to the Wool - A short story Chapter 2: Part Two

Everyone agreed. They didn't want Ed to deal with family chaos if those women banished. There's no way the Modern Knitters are going to knit with the Ass Kissing Ladies. They grew tired of their talk of hate and general crap. One Modern Knitter suggested knitting at a bar? Then realized the town lost their only bar to the husbands of the Ass Kissing Ladies. The nearest bar is thirty minutes from Mid Valley. Then, an LED light bulb flicked on over Ed's head. (He's still high, a minute after smoking the joint.)

The storage room he passes to go outside has plenty of space. Ed ventured inside to the storage room. Still high, he saw two couches, a coffee table filled with beer, and yarn. At the exit end of the room a flat-screen TV playing a sports event. Ed knew this was the place to hang out and knit. A place without the controversial talks of the Ass Kissing Ladies. Along with judging stares every time a Modern Knitter say or do something. The Modern Knitters behind Ed weren't high but envisioned a comfortable place to knit.

"I hope you don't mind meeting at night in the storage room?" The moment Ed made that statement, it became official.

Ed spent the weekend mopping the wooden floors of the storage room. A Modern Knitter donated two couches from a furniture store out of town. He didn't mention to Ed he used the veteran card to get a deep, deep discount. Ed's Army buddy worked his hands again to make a coffee table with little to zero nails. Joyce got into the knitting speakeasy by providing a fridge to cool the beer and freeze ice cream. Ed figured he hide the pot on the wall of a fake vent. There’s no way the Ass Kissing Ladies would find a stash of pot in the storage room. There’s no way the Ass Kissing Ladies would dare enter the storage room.

There was no grand opening of the secret knitting circle. Once they got the storage room organized the Modern Knitters started to show up after Ed close the shop. The local convince store had a fantastic stock of beers to buy in bulk. The owner knew the problems the city council is giving to businesses that sell alcohol. Granted, the city council knows there's no longer an amendment to ban the sale of alcohol. Ed uses his veteran discount to buy beer by the box load. He later found out he's not the only person to smoke pot. Rather than smoke a joint like Ed, some smoke glass or porcelain bongs. (Don't know what a bong is, look it up on the Internet.) Ed needed the company of both smokers and non-smokers. The only rule in this underground knitting circle; don't smoke tobacco. Before smoking pot, Ed hated the smell of tobacco. Even when he’s near someone or a group during one of his many tours. There are many things Ed has knitted while high. A blanket using the cable, lace pattern for a children sweater. Too many cables, going in odd directions, but still make a gauge to fit. One Modern Knitter knitted while high a sweater; only it was a rip-off of another sweater. The pattern was seven dollars, the rib-off pattern was free. Since high, she'd proved the seven dollar pattern was a rip-off of the free sweater pattern. With great rage. Sometimes, people get dizzy combining lace and variegated yarn. When a knitter high, the piece is a thing of beauty. It's like observing either a sunrise or sunset. When a knitter gets drunk there are a few mistakes made.

There was one time, Ed got “baked” during the speakeasy knitting circle. He laid his back on the floor, knees pointing to the ceiling, while knitting. Ed happened to be singing Elton John, “Tiny Dancer”. The Modern Knitters joined him in a spontaneous sing-along. There’s a possibility they too were high or drunk while knitting.

Like all shops, there's a plague of the pest. The roaches, spiders, and mice crawl around the room from one corner to the next. In the cause of Ed shop a plague of people pest. No, the Ass Kissing Ladies didn't come back for their robotic sap. Jeff and Mayor Kyle Kite made a surprise cameo at the shop. There's a feeling of a Christmas miracle. The Modern Knitters took the night off to observe a secular holiday. Table cleared of beer cans, bottles, and ashtray. The storage room had a smell of mountain air than a music festival. Mayor Kite became the first pest to enter the storage room.

"It's a good thing you've segregated the groups. The last thing the wives need an association with liberal scum." Mayor Kite made the remark after exiting the storage room.

Ed shook his head behind the backs of the two men. The Modern Knitters talk fewer politics compared to the Ass Kissing Ladies. It's the nature of the beast for men of "high standards". To lower the bar of common folk they suppose to represent.

Kyle spied the skein Connie G. forced the women to buy. Took the twisted skein. He observe it by flopping it up and down. "This looks like a modest piece of wool. Something a good Christian American woman would knit."

Ed hid a silent laugh as Kyle placed the skein back. Still clueless about yarn being produce by a gay knitwear designer.

Jeff went into the storage room feeling forced to go since Kyle checked it out. Ed followed his father to make sure he's not searching without a warrant. Jeff put hands behind his back while roaming around the room. Ed couldn't help sweat a bit observing his father. There's no trace of pot, bongs, and beer. Still, Jeff senses something of interest. The coffee table was clean, only a few incomplete knitted items. Some Modern Knitters were high or drunk to remember their knits in progress.

"What's this", Jeff picked up an unfinished fair isle sweater. He didn't understand what he was holding by the collar. Knit from the top down. He wasn't to the sleeves and body yet. He finished the fair isle part of the yoke, featuring an array of shapes and lines. Different shades of red, orange on a dark blue background.

Jeff couldn't comprehend the concept of a fair isle sweater. "Is this some kind satanic symbols on this sweater?"

Ed lowered the eyes in confusion. The Modern Knitter got the pattern from an Internet knitting magazine. A modern take on a traditional Icelandic sweater. Nothing satanic about an international knit. He also happens to not smoke pot. Jeff wanted to assume anything with splashing color is satanic. He placed the sweater back on the table then walked around the storage room.

"I don't understand why you did this? I thought the Army toughened you up", Jeff was stern in his tone.

Ed couldn't believe what his father said. Yet, his father doesn't believe in his struggles. "Have you seen a battle erupt in gunfire? Have you seen a jeep exploded in front of you?" Ed started to tense up. In hopes to one-up his father for the first time in forever.

"Yes, with liberals, minorities, and anybody associated with a terrorist. This store has lead you to one of those evils", Jeff responded back.

Ed's face dumbfounded by Jeff remarks. Doesn't Jeff realize; veterans with similar problems like Ed create businesses. They don't come out of war into one political side. They do sometimes run for political office. The rest struggle to go back to normal.

"Yeah, I turned liberal. I sell yarn to people with beards, tattoos, and body piercings. I serve those people before the yarn shop when I was in the Army. You serve people who don’t know ‘jackshit’ about firefights, IEDs, and colleagues with torn up limbs." Ed shot back at his father.

Jeff's face turned red in anger. "You think my love for this country is a joke because you went to war and turned into a liberal. Now you run a sissy little shop that sells yarns to trashy citizens. Most those people may not be American at all."

Ed smirked, then cough a little laugh, "I love you dad, but you're an asshole".

"Now your a homosexual", Jeff barked back.

"It could be I am homosexual", Ed shouted back at his father. "Be thankful I'm not hanging myself in a stupid little real estate office."

Jeff's face was already red with anger after Ed remark. "I don't need this crap. I'd wish we never stopped at this shop", Jeff rushed his words.

He stomped out of the storage room.

"We're done at this shop. Let's go, there are better places to be than in a shop for liberal homosexuals," Kyle told a brisk walking Jeff. Kyle must’ve overheard the father, son spat.

Jeff, Kyle rush out the shop without say "goodbye" or other words. Ed stood at the end of the shop staring at the entrance door mad and sad. His eyes welled up, face red hot. The weather was not helping at all. Outside started thundering and lighting. The weather got so bad a power outage occurred. Flashes of the lighting surround the shop. Ed started to panic at nature strobe lights. His mind was back in Afghanistan, there's a firefight going on outside. Made heavy breathes as he dropped to the foot on all fours. Ed crawled around the shop in hopes of finding a place to hide from the so-called "bombs". While crawling for shelter he found an incomplete knitting project. Ed didn't know whose incomplete knit it was, but he took it anyway.

Ed did find shelter; under the checkout desk near the display window. The lights remained off for twenty minutes. Once the lights turned on Ed was knitting. He didn't bother to pop out from under the desk. He did recognize the person entering the shop once the door open. Since the divorce, Joyce made a habit of whistling Hey Jude. Sometimes she whistles it after a crazy moment between Ed and Jeff. This time Joyce was clueless about Jeff being in the shop, or the argument. She happen to park to the lights come back on. Ed did tell Joyce what happened in Afghanistan. This includes the different hiding places they seek during a firefight or bombing. Thus the reason for finding Ed under the desk.

"I had to hide, the bombs… I mean lighting was getting too much for me."

Joyce nodded in understanding.

"Dad is an asshole! We had a fight over the shop. He claims I turned 'liberal' for coming back from Afghanistan and opening a yarn shop." Ed gave his mother the details what happened.

Joyce was even more understanding. "No, God not an asshole. He's the great trinity that'll always be around, even when shit goes down. Jeff Grun, he's the real asshole."

The statement Joyce made got a laugh from Ed while finishing a cable stitch.

"Your father like a good pissing contest. He thinks you're cheating. I know you, you're not a player in this contest. Jeff doesn't understand your pain is now a contribution to society."

Ed took interest in Joyce statement. She explained; soldiers who come back from war suffer the same problems as Ed. They use their pain to write books, plays, and movies. They open businesses to serve more people without killing anyone. Sure, the nightmares were there. It grew smaller with age and distractions from their craft. Ed understood the explanation. Without him opening the yarn shop he'd be working for his father still haunted by war. Ed visualized his life as his father wanted him to do. Then opened eyes to another nightmare. Him hanging himself at his father real estate office. A nightmare that had nothing to with war.

Joyce was right, Jeff did love a good pissing contest. Six months after the fight Connie G and K opened their own yarn shop. Only to go out of business within a month of staying in business. It all fell apart due to price gouging and terrible customer service. That's the month Kyle Kite got arrested for roaming Ed's church with a shotgun. He heard the rumor the pastor with malice aforethought serve communion to gays. Still not understanding the concept of communion. He also couldn't comprehend that not all ushers are bar bouncers. To add to the chaos, a member of the city council "came out". He gave Ed a helping hand after getting kicked out of the house by the wife.

For now, Ed eased a little bit with his bitter emotions about Jeff. Joyce provided Ed a joint from his hidden stash behind a box in a fake vent in the wall of the storage room. He didn't bother going outside to smoke. Ed stayed under the front counter till the joint ran low. The odor remover candle was lit once Ed got up. With knowledge of the Ass Kissing Ladies. Anything with a strong scent deemed an illegal substance.

Since the spat heard around the world happen, Ed develop a new form of PTSD. It’s not as heavy as the one he got from his previous tours. The day after the fight he’d knit angry. Make every stitch with a show of force. Ed would drop stitches every time he’d amp up the speed of his knitting. The next few days Ed knitted sadder. He knows Jeff will never accept the choice he made in opening the shop. Ed now understands what gays are going through with their family rejections. He knits his stitches slower, with a lack of joy. This time, there’s no drop stitches. The stitches are now loose. In a way, the stitches resemble a yarn over then a tight stitch. Ed smoked one joint a night; after the fight with Jeff, it’s up to two joints a night. The Modern Knitters did hear about the fight through rumors and Ed rants while knitting high. They try to figure out ways of helping Ed overcome his problems. The Modern Knitters determined the only way is to keep Ed knitting.

Before the fight with Jeff, Ed was knitting elaborate knits. Sweaters with fancy cables; it makes any skinny man look and feel bulked up. Shawls in a round with lace flowers, shapes, and lines. After the fight, Ed knitted simple knits like straight knit hats, one stitch blankets. The Modern Knitters wanted to be polite, by not mentioning how boring his knits are. In secret wanted Ed to go back knitting elaborate knits. It’s not Ed to knit plain, tacky knits. One of the Modern Knitters figured out a way to get Ed knitting groove back; by accident. Two weeks after the fight with Jeff. A Modern Knitter got distracted by a hockey fight. She lost count of her stitches and her shawl looked very odd. She didn’t know what to do or how to fix the mistake she made. The Modern Knitter took a chance at asking Ed for help. Still sad, Ed was reluctant to fixing a Modern Knitter mistake. After a few looks at the pattern and frogging out stitches, Ed fixes the mistakes. Ed mood brighten when a mistake fixed. Other Modern Knitters made mistake on their knits that night. Ed was glad to fix their mistakes as well. Despite some Modern Knitters making the mistakes on purpose it cheered up Ed. After the night of knitting mistakes, Ed felt the need to help more knitters with their mistakes.

The Ass Kissing Ladies never return to the shop. Jeff spins more shit than he does yarn. Ed guessed they heard about the fight with Jeff and decided to boycott. With no knowledge of those women plot to create a rival yarn shop in the city. Ed didn’t care about the absence of the Ass Kissing Ladies. He’s more worried about running the yarn shop. Help fix knitting mistakes and going back to knitting elaborate knits. The shop managed to succeed without the Ass Kissing Ladies.

Remember the shepherd wife who introduced Ed to wool. She called Ed one night as he was taking out the trash around the back of the shop. Still high, Ed envisioned a middle-aged, middle eastern woman wearing a hijab. She stands in front of him smoking a cigarette.

"Hello friend, how's the shop?"

Ed trusted the woman with his feelings. She trusted him when she escaped an abusive husband. What the Army doesn't know, till now; Ed and company took her from the village to a group of journalist from Germany. They took her from Afghanistan to Germany. She needed to stay and face questions about her husband opioid operation. Now she lives in Germany. Ed taught her some German along with the English the other soldiers did. She used it to learn more about the language. It came in handy, she opened her own shop like Ed. She even converted to Christianity to honor Ed; the one who saved her from a horrible Muslim man. She even changed her name from a traditional Muslim name to Ed grandmother name. Ruth Ruggles, was the grandmother that willed Ed the knitting set. The ex-Muslim Ruth Ruggles introduced Ed to new types of yarns. She still wears the hijab to hide the scars on her head. Her husband at the time through acid on the back of her head. He wanted to punish her for washing her hair in a riven.

Ruth would call Ed once in a while to talk about the woes of a shop owner. Ed confined to Ruth about the Ass Kissing Ladies. Ruth confined to Ed about petty crimes at her shop. A week ago two, ten-year-old boys got caught shoplifting cigarettes and candy. Now they're forced to stock up soda, tea, and feminine products. The latest woe was Ed fight with his dad.

Before feeling, sympathy for Ed Ruth yelled over the phone. "Roy, let the black girl pay. I see her with money."

Roy Dinsmore was a member of Ed company on Afghanistan part 2. Roy got PTSD like Ed. He wanted to get away from the mental chaos and Germany was the getaway. He took aback seeing Ruth since her escape from Afghanistan. Roy didn't teach Ruth English, but he did teach her how to smoke a cigarette. He got over his PTSD by working at Ruth shop. The only problem, Roy biased towards minorities and women. By some weird miracle, he's happy living with Ruth. Which is what Ruth told Ed after yelling over the phone to Roy. What Ed didn't know until years later; Ruth and Roy were already married. They enjoyed each other company. Smoking, drinking Old Grandad and listening to retro country, western music.

"The store and my God is the joy in my life", Ruth stated after hearing about Ed fight with his dad.

Ed shook his head in agreement with a high interpretation of Ruth. "You're right Ruth, the knitting, and the shop give me joy."

"Joy to the wool", Ruth hit the nail on the head. Ed woke up to the phrase Ruth created.

"Joy to the wool", could be a new slogan for the Modern Knitters. It’s not only the beer, and pot that give them joy. It’s also the power of knitting with friends. The joy power that has lasted throughout Ed lifetime. His grandkids don’t understand. Their grandfather knits while drinking either a can or glass bottle of beer.

"Joy is something your father and friends don't have. Their negativity gives them less joy. Their politics give them no joy. The wool, the friends and God give you all the joy you need." Ruth made more sense about the phase she created.

She's not joking about that explanation. No matter how many times Jeff tires to compete in a pissing contest, he's still not happy. The only winner in the pissing contest was Joyce.

She re-married her best friend, a county commissioner, and knitter. He decided not to seek re-election to let Joyce run for county commissioner. She allowed the Modern Knitters to drink beer at Ed’s Threads. Still, to this day they have to be discreet about the pot smoking. Jeff tried to run against Joyce when she was up for re-election. The nature of their divorce was the downfall of Jeff campaign. Mayor Kite tired his best to run for re-election but lost due to his arrest. He hasn’t been living in Mid Valley since. There’s a rumor going around Kyle and Connie found an all conservative town to help run. Jeff never followed the Kites, the citizens thought. Some say women don’t piss. In a way women do; they piss
in a different manner than men.

You could say Ed is in a good second place in the pissing contest. He not going to admit it. The results don’t lie. Since opening the shop in early spring, Ed has seen a flowing stream of people come to the shop for yarn. People still use the handcrafted table and chairs to knit. The Modern Knitters leave the beer drinking until closing time. Ed started to see more veterans show up at the shop. At first, they didn’t know Jackshit about knitting. Ed’s a good person, offering free knitting classes to any vet who wanted to knit something. They never felt their ass was being kissed. The shop felt more comfortable now the Ass Kissing Ladies no longer knit. They’re getting used to knitting with bright colors the shop carries. The veterans would at first knit with darker colors of black, brown and gray. Even some of the vet knitters decided to join the Modern Knitters in the knitting speakeasy.

Ed PTSD shrunk within a year or two since opening the shop. The knitting helped; a story he told customers with real feelings. It took Ed a few years to quit the pot. Once he quit, Ed still allowed Modern Knitters to smoke pot while knitting. He’s glad to still enjoy beer. Ed would knit and drink well into his retirement. The kids, grandkids run the shop. They knit too. The kids are following the trend of marking the yarns as “no gender yarns”. Ed fine with the crazy notion, as long as they don’t change purl name. They try to be a little politically correct at the shop. There’s one ancient policy that hasn’t change; don’t be a kiss ass. They heard the tale of the Kiss Ass Ladies and wish not to repeat their vanity. The shop hasn’t stopped allowing the new veterans from knitting. Ed doesn’t mind telling them the truth about the PTSD. He knows in the end knitting played a part in saving his life.

Ruth slogan is still a slogan for the Modern Knitters. Everybody knows it by heart, they don’t need a sign at the shop. Joy to the wool!