Hi @wdougwatson
Thanks for your honest post.
Believe it or not, it made me feel good to read it. It made me realize that I’m not the only person in the world who is getting stuck going around in circles in his own mind.
I know what it’s like. I’ve been battling depression for a while now, and these last few weeks, I actually manage to be happy again. To laugh out loud, without the dark clouds that used to be there all the time.
And it is like you say, my healing process started the day I stopped thinking about having to take action, and actually took action.
It sounds so easy now that I write it, but it sure isn’t. It’s one step at a time, and sometimes a step back. When that happens, the negativity starts to spread again, it’s a struggle to not let those negative thoughts win. You are not a failure if you try (and miss).
I know it doesn’t help a lot (been there, done that), but still I want to show you a couple of positive points, and congratulate you on those...
First, you wrote this post. You got off your ass and took action!
Second, you made a bad decision, and you cared. You care about the other people, you care about yourself.
Keep moving, don’t stop. Make sure your head can’t take over.
Print this page, and hang it up somewhere. Read it, even at times you think it’s all BS: read it until you believe you can fight again. ‘cos you can, I can, we can!!!
Excellent comment!
You almost reach the threshold for motivational writing there dude.
I think it is also important to remember that we will probably fall again. When we do, the answer hasn't changed. In alot of ways this disease is like alcoholism. When alcohol controls your life the answer is always to not drink. Even if you just got drunk, not drinking is what you have to do first.
Similarly, when you fall into the haze of depression the answer is always to get moving. Even if you haven't cleaned your house in a month and you have been sitting in the dark for a week, put one foot in front of the other.
Thanks again for the solid comment.
Keep Steeming, and keep fighting.
Thanks, you too!
I will probably always have the tendency to overthink everything, risking to get cought in those downward circles in my mind.
I only recently realized that this is a talent, which can be just as well be used for the good. (I’m struggling a bit with language barriers here - lol)
I mean, I have the power to ‘brainwash’myself until everything’s negative and nothing matters.
(Not-so-)Simply turn that upside down and use it for positive things... the power is there, it’s about how you use it (for now, that’s only the theoretical part. I still need some exercise and time to be able to put it into practice)
I also learned that it helps to be more open. Like you did in your post. You could have kept your thoughts inside, making the situation worse in your head, but then you wouldn’t have known about how @hitmeasap and @insideoutlet are not judging you as you were yourself.
And it’s one thing to be open to people, but to be this open in public... that’s courage, man :0)