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RE: A Very Good Boy's Guide to Christmas™🐾 So You Don't Get Confused by the Big Red Man or the NoPeeTree
SQUIRREL!
bork bork BORK borkborkbork
I don't need your heckin' nuts, angry fluffbrain! I have seen you squirrels do a dang wreckin' of hoomans' gardens and homes. I've done an empircal observe, fren! Squirrels do a steal of the birdo's foods and nests and eggos. No heckin' preaching here, tiny claw villain!
I have no need to do a climb. Just last week, lady let me off to do one of you a chase and I did a heckin' leap and twist and slammo into the tree and down you fell, boink. I'm not just a Very Good Boy, I am a Very Spry Boy! Do a remember of that.
Doggo, you a laugh, 'fren'.
Thinking you all spry. Can't even say spy right... whooz fluffball now? Look at that big old snoot, gone and bite it one day.
Also, If youdon't need my heckin' nutz, why you stoled them? I know itz you, no lying Mr. 'Very Good Boy'. Call me villun and then take danutz. Spiccable.
You must done attack an old squirrel if you knock them down, real impressuv to attack old defenseless elder.
EVIL DOGGER ATTACKS OLD SQUIRRELS FOR FUN!!!
You shall pay. Your hooman should not let you out. Meanass to 'ciety.
eejit sqrrl crechur, you goin doen hooser. da flock stoled danutz, like ya do. doggos dont peck brrd food you heckin gastown swanker!
jbrrd done a spy back at you, chasen us brrds an stealin da pablum from our chicks. saying all danutz is belongin ta sqrrls?! what sqrrlspy can't see da flock pooped his tree an stoled his nutz? gheez.
murph do us a heckin skookum deal on dem nutz. brrds is heckin crafty scavengers, brrds know yer secrit plas, jbrrd done a follow on sqrrlspy, so give'r mate, sqrrls caint outfly da flock.
Lizzen here bird-brain, youz all shall pay for what youdone.