We need to talk
As we pretend to have no needs and steer clear of difficult conversations a lot of people in the ethical monogamy camp are gasping for air and eventually end up in situationships rather than the nice romantic relationship they intended to be in.
I have been freaked out at certain times when I knew I was going to find myself in a hard conversation and sometimes we bury our heads in the sand because we want to avoid the almost inevitable conflict. It starts with "we need to talk" and if the answer is silence, it's a bad one.
Please engage in dialogue, feel the awkwardness, take criticism and quit apologizing. It's much better than trying to avoid the hard conversations.
It's not cool to block someone because you're too scared to be honest if you want to break up with them. Give the person the courtesy of canceling the plans so they won't have to deal with the inconvenience of attending a cancelled date at least. I've have been third wheel among friends who were couples and you get yourself right in the middle. You're friends to both so you hear both sides and see what both are doing.
The immature ones just repeatedly block and unblock each other after a disagreement but blocking someone is just a digital version of establishing boundaries for yourself when you're over a breakup. It is counterproductive and even harmful. We frown natural on having the difficult conversations. Sometimes though it's confusing and you don't know what to do with a hard conversation. It doesn't mean avoiding difficult conversations rather it means that even when ideas are debatable a person's worth, dignity and seat at the table are never. Being uncomfortable doesn't advance the discussion in any way beyond your personal emotions and your misplaced guilt.
Having a ban on a subject and then attempting to be encouraging just looks fake to me. Why don't you be truthful and acknowledge that you might not have been the most helpful and move on. It's not your responsibility to always make your partner happy. The pushback is nothing to be afraid of.
We need to talk! ;-)))
Of course, it’s not my responsibility to make my partner happy. But perhaps it’s my wish?! I’m only responsible for my own happiness. Although contentment is more important to me and feels closer to home...
I have admired people that are direct. At first I used to find them annoying. But as I have grown up, it is hard to be direct and not be a prick. Directness doesn't come to me, sugarcoating isn't for me, blending in was. These interactions are draining.
Reading your side, you are quite direct. The way we are different is amusing to me. We may get so angry at people for the way they are. Let's appreciate uniqueness. Next time you find an annoying person, say you are quite unique in your own way.
All in fun.