블랙아웃/Blackout

술에 취하면 기억이 일부분 사라지신 적 있나요.
전 취하면 자극적인 일 빼고는 기억이 안 나서 재미없어서 기억이 안 나나보다 했습니다. 근데 이제는 꽤 일이 있었는데도 기억이 잘 안 나는 것이 빨간불 켜진 느낌이네요. 알콜성 치매에 가까워 질 거 같아 전 이제 술을 멀리 하려 합니다.
25살까지 술은 입에도 대지 않았는데 뒤늦게 재밌는 친구들을 만나 술을 즐기게 되어버린 탓인지, 즐겁긴 한데 치매걸리면 전 제일 무서워하는 죽음을 선택할 거라 자제해야겠습니다. 다만 고민이 술 자체를 줄여야 할지, 블랙아웃 될 만큼 마시는 것을 줄여야 할지가 고민이네요. 아예 안 마시는 것은 중독은 아닌지라 해볼 순 있지만 삶이 조금 무료해질 거 같아서… 병원을 가게 되면 한 번 물어봐야겠습니다.
건강하세요…

Have you ever experienced losing parts of your memory when you’re drunk?
When I drink, I tend to forget everything except for very stimulating moments, so I used to think it was because nothing was particularly memorable or fun. But now, even when quite a lot has happened, I still can’t remember much—and that feels like a real red flag.

I’m starting to worry that this could lead me closer to alcohol-related dementia, so I’ve decided to distance myself from drinking. I didn’t touch alcohol at all until I was 25, but later on I met some really fun people and ended up enjoying drinking. It is enjoyable, but if I were to develop dementia, I think I would choose death—the thing I fear the most—so I feel I need to restrain myself.

What I’m unsure about is whether I should reduce alcohol altogether, or specifically stop drinking to the point of blacking out. Quitting entirely isn’t impossible since I don’t think I’m addicted, but life might feel a bit dull without it. I suppose I should ask a doctor about this at some point.

Take care of your health…