We're going 16 years now... and we're never going to get married. The whole idea of marriage is craziness. You wouldn't lock yourself in to anything (location, job, phone plan, car, diet) for the rest of your life, why would anyone lock themselves into the most complex thing possible. We always had the idea that either of us should leave if they find someone better for them, and that alone has meant that we've both worked at it to be the very best for the other... we have such a shared history and such an understanding of the other's needs, that it would be hard for anyone to come in between... but I really do think it's healthy to have that outlook.

I've seen so many people become miserable with their partners... and alternatively I've seen so many people so happy with their 2nd or 3rd big relationships... if a relationship isn't the very best thing for you, then it's so important to move on. Life is way too short. I kind of wish people we're so crazy about a.) people staying together forever b.) people thinking that being single is terrible.

Thanks for sharing this hard time Tanbay. It's hard, but you'll both be much better off for it... and even the hardship is important to grow as a person... life is hard, working through sadness is important.

You seem pretty together man, but we're always here for you if you need.