Social Intelligence: To Trust or Not To Trust?
Radar for Insincerity
The human brain is a complex organ in the human body. Every part of it has a specific function which are all important for survival. Thus, if the brain is perfectly functional, it has been wired for him to maximize his full potential.
At this moment, we shall discover a few of the brains activity and how it has affected not just ourselves, but others as well in the manner of how we deal others.
The Amygdala
The amygdala for one, as stated in the book, automatically and compulsively scans everyone we encounter for whether they are to be trusted or not. It is like a machine that allows us to ask ourselves of whether or not the person is safe to approach It can be compared to an x-ray machine at the airport where it could scan what is found inside. Aside from scanning, it also tends to analyze what our eyes were able to see, and allows us to react.
As mentioned on a previous blog post on Coleman’s work, the amygdala is a warning system in our body that has two branches: the high and the low road. The former mentioned operates when we tend to make a judgment on the person. This is the reason why we tend to ask ourselves, is this person worthy of my trust? Am I safe with this person? Meanwhile, the latter labors to keep us safe.
An example of this is when someone unknown to us approaches us, our amygdala automatically sends a signal to us. In response, we look for verbal and nonverbal cues of the person while the person is in front of us either talking or just looking at us. When the person speaks, we try to see as whether or not the information that the person says is true or just made up. Aside from that, we also look other cues such as how the eyes react, the mouth twitch, and a lot more.
Our amygdala does not only function whenever we deal with people that we just met. It also functions whenever we deal with someone close to us. An example of this is whenever a friend approaches one person asks to be in relationship with him or her, the other person would then check whether the other person is sincere or insincere with his or her words.
To note, patients who have neurological problems particularly those with extensive amygdala damage are unable to make judgments as whether or not the person could be trusted or not. Studies show that “when shown a photo of a man who ordinary people find highly suspicious, these patients rate him on a par with the man others rated most deserving of their trust”.
Suppression of the emotions has physical effect on the person
On a certain study that was conducted by Stanford University, two women who volunteered were shown a documentary on the aftermath of the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during the Second World War. Both of the women felt bad about it while watching.
At the moment they were told to share their insights and feelings, one of them was instructed to suppress her emotions and be indifferent about it. Meanwhile, the other one shared her insights. She was vocal in sharing about it. This in respond made the vocal one thought that the other volunteer should not be trusted.
It was proved that emotional suppression has taken a physical toll on one of the volunteers as her blood pressure increased. But, it is also noteworthy that the woman who was honest has “the same steady rise in blood pressure”.
To quote Coleman, “Forthrightness is the brain’s default response: our neural wiring transmits our every minor mood onto the muscles of our face, making our feelings instantly visible.” Thus, the display of our emotion is automatic and the suppression demands conscious effort. But suppressing our emotions cannot always be done perfectly.
The high and low road circuitry on the other hand serves as an early warning system for sincerity. It is specialized for suspicion which differs from rapport and empathy. To quote Goldman again, “evolutionary theory holds that our ability to sense when we should be suspicious has been every bit as essential for human survival as our capacity for trust and cooperation”.
A Casanova’s Downfall
Giovanni Vigliotto was known to have made living by marrying wealthy women. Through a course of time, he was able to marry several women at the same time. At the moment he met Patricia Gardner, his career crash-landed. The woman took him to court and filed a case for bigamy.
According to Gardner, one of the things that attracted her to him was that he looked at her directly in the eyes while smiling.
It is important though that we should look on the person’s gaze to read the other person’s emotions. Usually, we look down whenever we are sad, look away whenever we feel disgust, and down whenever we feel shame or guilt. Vigliotto was skillful enough to give since locking of eyes on his victims.
In the years of studying of Paul Elkman, known for detecting lies, he has become fascinated by the ways we can detect lies. To quote, “His keen eye for facial subtleties detected discrepancies between the mask of a person’s faked emotions and leakage of what they actually felt”.
When a person lies, it demanded conscious and intentional activity. The high road then allows the person to choose his words and censor what he says. The lying person takes more time to answer than those who are telling the truth. This gap shows an effort to compose the lie well and to manage the emotional and physical channels through which truth might inadvertently leak. This takes both time and mental effort.
Words alone may betray a lie. But more often than not the clue that someone may be misleading us will be a discrepancy between their words and their facial expression, as when someone assures us they “feel great” yet a quaver in their voice reveals angst.
The facial muscles are controlled by the low road, the choice to lie by the high road: in an emotional life, the face belies what’s said. The high road conceals, the low road reveals.
Source:
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goldman
Image are all from pixabay.com.