While all the points are important, I feel you are missing the essence still.

To me that would be the ability to be the conscious observer of your emotions as they emerge and dissapear, and suspend their effect on your thoughts and beliefs, rather than being controlled by them.

Different emotions pop up all the time. And due to our risk-averse, survival oriented nature, we put an increased weight on negative stimulous, and are programmed to feel threatened or insecture 10 times too often rather than 1 time too little. (Similar to a smoke alarm). Emotional intelligence in its essense is therefore the awareness of this phenomenon, and the ability to intelligently controll how the volatile and fluctuating emergency of different emotions end up affecting our actions. I consider myself to be emotionally intelligent when whenever I feel hurt by someone's comment, I suspend judging myself on the basis of those emotions until I have asked quetions such as "why am I feeling hurt?" , "why did they feel the need to say what they said?" "Do I really mind having whatever flaw they point out that I have?" And then being able to, on the basis of thought rather than emotion, dictate whether or not I let them influence me.

Anyways those were my 50 cents :P I think this topic is one that is worth exploring by all people. And that we can become better at handling our lives when we are more aware of our emotions, and better at intelligently managing them and their impact on our lives.

Looking forward to hear alternative views by those who may have them :)