The Retarded Elf

The Retarded Elf carried a set square that they would often watch for 10 minutes every morning. This might appear to be an odd approach to life, to me and my parents, but not to the Elf, who assumed that this idea is fun. Bizarrely, a set square being the thing opted for.

The Retarded Elf often carried a wig that they would sometimes insert somewhere. It was considered to be a fairly funny action, to me and my parents, but not to the Elf, who considered that this idea was entertaining. You wouldnt have thought, a wig being the item selected.

The Retarded Elf always carried a porno magazine that they would occasionally sleep with. This seems a weird approach to life, to everybody you know, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was magnificent. Honestly, a porno magazine being the thing selected.

The Retarded Elf searched for a condom that they would put down their trousers. One might find this to be an extraordinary thought, to most, but not to the Elf, who felt that this idea is miraculous. Who would have imagined, a condom being the item selected.

The Retarded Elf desired a block of cheese to insert somewhere. This might appear to be a fairly peculiar thing to do, to my children, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was out of this world. A block of cheese is the item to choose.

The Retarded Elf craved for a rubber chicken that they would often share. It might have been a bizarre exercise, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who felt that the idea was fun. Strangely, a rubber chicken is the thing to choose.