The Confused Elf

The Confused Elf desperately craved for a cheese grater that they would often rub on his belly. This seems an odd thought, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Elf, who felt that this idea was simply life. A cheese grater would be the chosen thing.

The Confused Elf often carried a sponge that they would occasionally worship. This could be considered a fairly new proposal, to me and my parents, but not to the Elf, who expected that the idea was amazing. Who would have thought, a sponge would be the thing that was opted for.

The Confused Elf needed a pint of cider to try to balance on their head. One might consider this to be a fairly extraordinary approach to life, to me and my husband, but not to the Elf, who expected that it was in fact, spectacular. Remarkably, a pint of cider was the chosen thing.

The Confused Elf owned a set square that they liked to demolish. It is considered to be a fairly weird and wonderful activity, to me and my wife, but not to the Elf, who expected it would be amazing. You wouldnt have thought, a set square is the thing to opt for.

The Confused Elf needed a radiator that they would try to nail to the wall. It would have been a curious thing to do, to me and my wife, but not to the Elf, who assumed that this idea was awesome. A radiator having that done to it

The Confused Elf always carried a spade that they liked to put down their trousers. It is a funny activity, to most, but not to the Elf, who had decided it was entertaining. Bizarrely, a spade is the thing that was chosen.