A Fucking Elf

A Fucking Elf often carried a pint of cider that they liked to smash. It would be a peculiar thought, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, miraculous. Strangely, a pint of cider is the thing that was chosen.

A Fucking Elf craved for a bottle of coke that they would sometimes put on his head. It might be a fairly original approach to life, to my grandma, but not to the Elf, who felt it would be entertaining. Remarkably, a bottle of coke being the thing selected.

A Fucking Elf desperately looked for a bag of poop that they sometimes hug. It is considered to be an unusual proposal, to my neighbour, but not to the Elf, who considered that it was in fact, amazing. Who would have thought, a bag of poop would be the item that was chosen.

A Fucking Elf looked for a pint of cider that they would sometimes sit and look at. This might appear to be a strange idea, to some, but not to the Elf, who expected that the idea was wonderful. Bizarrely, a pint of cider is the thing to select.

A Fucking Elf owned a stretchman that they would break. This might appear to be a fairly weird suggestion, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who thinks that the idea was epic. Honestly, a stretchman was the item that was chosen.

A Fucking Elf often carried a bottle of wine that they would sometimes sleep with. One might find this to be an original thought, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who thinks that this idea was wonderous. A bottle of wine is the thing to opt for.