Good relationships boil down to two things: clear boundaries and open communication.
Good relationships don't need so many twists and turns. Ultimately, it boils down to two things: respecting each other's boundaries and offering genuine, unreserved affection. These two sentences seem simple, but those who can do them generally have good relationships.
Let's talk about boundaries first; they're the lifeblood of a relationship. I have a living example: my friend Acheng and his girlfriend dated for five years, almost getting married, but it ended in a breakup. The culprit was his insensitive "ex-related topics." When they were shopping and saw a bubble tea shop, Acheng would say, "My ex used to love this bubble tea." Passing a movie theater, he'd ramble on, "My ex cried half the night watching this movie." He didn't want to get back together; he just hadn't completely let go of the past, constantly comparing his current partner to his ex.
Over time, his girlfriend felt like she had a stone stuck in her chest, incredibly resentful. Finally, one day, the two had a huge fight about this. The girl, with red eyes, said, "You always have someone else in your heart, what am I to you?" Then she broke up with him. Acheng finally realized his mistake, but it was too late. You see, the worst thing in a relationship is not letting go of the past and not giving your current partner enough respect and personal space. Even the best relationship can't withstand that kind of turmoil.
On the other hand, look at Old Lin and his wife downstairs. They've been married for twenty years and their life is incredibly comfortable. They have a principle in their relationship—no checking up on each other, no going through each other's phones. When Old Lin goes on business trips, his wife never chases after him asking "Where are you?" or "Who are you with?" She only sends a message like, "Be careful, I'll wait for you to come back." When his wife comes home late from a party with her friends, Old Lin doesn't give her a sour look and interrogate her with "Why are you so late?" or "Who were you with?" He just quietly leaves the living room light on and cooks a bowl of hot soup for her.
Some people say, aren't they afraid their partner is cheating? Old Lin, however, said, "Trust is something you have to give ten times for every bit you give. Constantly checking up on each other isn't caring, it's torture." It's this boundary-crossing, suspicion-free way of interacting that makes their relationship like a deep well—calm on the surface, but filled with a solid, warm feeling underneath.
Having discussed boundaries, let's talk about the second thing—open and honest communication. The worst thing in a relationship isn't arguing, but two people pretending not to understand, keeping their true feelings bottled up, which slowly builds into unresolved conflicts.
My cousin Xiaoya almost ruined her wedding last year because of the bride price. Xiaoya's parents felt the groom's family was offering too little, fearing their daughter would suffer after marriage; the groom's parents, on the other hand, felt Xiaoya's family's demands were too high and unreasonable. Both sides had their own concerns, but neither was willing to speak frankly. Xiaoya and her fiancé acted as intermediaries, and the conversation gradually veered off course, eventually leading to a major rift between the two families, almost resulting in the cancellation of the wedding.
Later, Xiaoya and her fiancé couldn't take it anymore and locked themselves in a room to talk all night. Xiaoya cried, saying, "My parents aren't greedy for money; they're worried about my future. They raised me and can't bear to see me suffer." Her fiancé, his eyes also red, said, "My family's financial situation is indeed average, but I really want to marry you. I will work hard to earn money and will never let you suffer."
They poured out all their concerns, pressures, and fears without reservation or scheming. After their conversation, they went together to communicate with both sets of parents, opening up the situation. In the end, both families compromised, the issue of the bride price was resolved amicably, and the wedding was held in a joyous and lively manner. You see, many times, conflicts in relationships aren't because of a lack of love, but because of a reluctance to be honest. Putting those little calculations out in the open can actually untangle the knots.
But in reality, too many relationships are ruined by the "only reporting good news, not bad" mentality. Men feel, "I'm the pillar of the family, I can't complain," while women feel, "I have to be sensible, I can't complain." They may be sleeping in the same bed, but their hearts are worlds apart. Over time, resentment builds up, and eventually, even the smallest thing can trigger all the conflicts. By then, it's difficult to salvage the relationship.
Actually, sincerity doesn't mean saying everything, or immediately berating the other person for their mistakes. It means discussing problems calmly and speaking out about your grievances. If the other person makes a mistake, don't bottle it up until it explodes; gently point it out. If you're feeling down, don't pretend to be strong; confide in them and let them comfort you. Relationships are like that: if you open your heart to someone, they will open their heart to you.
Ultimately, good relationships don't require scheming or manipulation. It's about maintaining boundaries, avoiding overstepping or suspicion; living with sincerity, without concealment or calculation. Let go of all those messy, distracting thoughts, and connect with another equally transparent heart. Only this kind of relationship can withstand the test of daily life and accompany you through the years.