It's better to hold your own umbrella than to rely on someone else's shelter.
Don't envy others' peaceful lives. Relying on others for shelter means you'll always be at their mercy, constantly on guard. Only by holding your own umbrella can you be independent and confident wherever you go. A borrowed roof can be taken away at any time; only the umbrella handle you hold in your hand is the most reliable support in life.
In life, there are always people who are envious of others' good lives, envying those born with a silver spoon in their mouths, envying those with powerful connections in their careers, thinking those people can live a stable and respectable life without experiencing hardship. But they never consider that there's no free lunch in this world. The safe haven offered by others always comes with conditions. Behind seemingly comfortable lives lie countless compromises and calculations, having to carefully read others' expressions, and cautiously cater to their wishes. A slight misstep could lead to being kicked out of someone else's territory. Rather than bowing your head under someone else's roof, be strong, develop your own skills, and hold your own umbrella. After all, relying on yourself is the only way to never lose. In the workplace, people who rely on others and are unwilling to take responsibility are a dime a dozen. Some always like to hide behind the team, acting as "invisible figures." When faced with difficult tasks, they wait for senior colleagues to take over; when dealing with demanding clients, they hide behind their superiors; when problems arise, they shift blame; and when credit is awarded, they eagerly claim it.
Initially, they think this approach is effortless and worry-free, allowing them to coast along day by day. However, they forget that the workplace ultimately values ability, and no one will continue to pay for your laziness. Once the industry cools down and companies downsize, those who lack skills and only know how to "free-ride" will be the first to be abandoned.
On the other hand, those who work diligently and quietly improve themselves can perform well regardless of whether anyone is watching. Even after leaving their original platform, they can still find good jobs based on their genuine abilities, and they are sought after wherever they go. This is the confidence of having an umbrella in hand—being able to shelter yourself from the wind and rain without relying on others.
This principle also applies to daily life; placing all your hopes on others is ultimately a gamble. Mr. Zhang, a man I know, used to be a typical "hands-off" husband. He expected everything to be done for him, and if a light bulb went out, he'd just call the property management. He left all the children's studies to his wife, handed over his salary, and then became a carefree dad, always thinking this was a man's "bliss." But then, tragedy struck. His wife suddenly fell seriously ill and was hospitalized. The family's breadwinner collapsed, and Mr. Zhang was instantly stunned.
Faced with a mountain of messy bills, having to run around to the hospital alone to make various decisions, and caring for the elderly and children, he realized he was completely helpless, living like a useless person. The feeling of helplessness was suffocating him. He had no choice but to grit his teeth and learn. He learned to shop for groceries, cook, manage finances, care for the sick, and help the children with their homework. He transformed from a clueless man into the family's all-around pillar.
It was then that he understood that relying solely on his partner was a gamble. Having the ability to care for the family and solve problems was the truest responsibility to one's family and the most stable foundation of a home.
Even today's social circles reflect this principle. Some people spend their days attending dinners and drinking parties, believing that by adding influential figures on WeChat and saving the phone numbers of a few "capable people," they'll have a safety net and always have someone to help them in times of trouble.
But when they urgently need money for a life-saving emergency or professional assistance, they scroll through their contacts only to find that those who swore brotherhood at the dinner table and confidently said, "Call me if you need anything," either ignored them or had already blocked them.
Ultimately, adult social interactions are about exchanging value. True friends aren't begged for; they're attracted by your own abilities. If you can solve problems and have sufficient value, others will be willing to cooperate with you and lend a hand. If you only know how to take advantage of others and constantly rely on them, you'll only end up being disliked and left to rot in a corner.
Life is a long journey, full of ups and downs. Everyone inevitably faces disasters, hardships, and moments of isolation. If someone lends you a hand, that's a favor; it can save you temporarily, but not forever. If no one helps you, that's their right, and there's nothing to complain about.
Instead of pinning your hopes on others, expecting someone to always shelter you from the storm, invest your time and energy in yourself, honing your true skills. Whether it's professional skills at work or survival skills in life, these are things that belong to you and no one can take away—these are your strongest support and most reliable umbrella in life.
Stop relying on others' shelter. From now on, learn to hold your own umbrella. Develop skills, accumulate enough confidence, and no matter how strong the wind or how heavy the rain, you can walk forward with your head held high. That confidence—not having to depend on anyone else, being in control of your own life—is the most powerful armor in life.
When you can hold your own umbrella, you'll find that even in a downpour, you can remain calm and composed, choosing your own path. This is the freest and most grounded way to live.